Plaxico Burress, that guy who caught the game-winning touchdown against the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII, is acting up in jail. He lied to a prison guard, and now he’s no longer allowed to go outside. I thought that’s what jail was…
The former receiver, now in the protective-custody wing of the Oneida Correctional Facility, was slapped with a violation on Nov. 6, 2009, after he told a guard he had permission to phone his attorney, according to his disciplinary report.
The guard believed Burress, who was allowed to have his own cell, and let him make a call. In addition to losing recreation privileges, he was barred from using the phone for seven days. –NY Post.
Whoa whoa whoa, these guys are getting cell phones now? Can they use the internet? Because that would make jail awesome. It would be like a gay resort where one could be violently sodomized against one’s will. Actually, jail doesn’t sound so hot after all. Not when I can stay in mom’s basement rent-free.