11.08.07 10 years ago 22 Comments

Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who once thrilled Internet sports dorks by holding his weekly meetings with the press in costume and character — among the favorites were Coach Janky Spanky and Dolemite Jenkins — is back the way we love him: as someone else.  From D.C. Sports Bog:

This is Choo-Choo. Something about him teaching Portis how to dance, and [Santana] Moss how to dance, and [Antwaan] Randle El how to dance. "I taught these boys how to dance," was the gist. A lot of it was unintelligible, and involved jerky dance-like demonstrations and third person referrals to "Clinton Portis," but hey, we'll take it. More on this breaking news later.

Oversize sunglasses?  Kabuki-like wig?  Flamenco shirt?  Goatee?  Dance moves???  My God!  He's tapped directly into my erotic fantasies!!!  That, or a Japanese Olsen twin with a goatee.  Which is pretty much the same thing.

UPDATE: The quotes from the press gathering are everything you'd hoped they would be.

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