Because it’s not a good day unless the NBA is thinking of new ways to take our money*, the league is soon going to unveil some very special nickname jerseys, presumably for the biggest stars. The uniforms will look exactly like the standard team uniforms, but instead of the player’s last name on the back, the top will have a popular nickname. That means that LeBron James will probably have “The King,” Kevin Durant might have “Durantula” and Tim Duncan’s would read, “Tim Duncan.”
But the one nickname jersey that we know is happening for sure is Ray Allen’s very own Jesus Shuttlesworth jersey that will debut at some point this season.
That is, of course, a reference to Allen’s starring role in the Spike Lee joint He Got Game, but we should all act like he’s actually changing his name, so we can have something new to hate the Miami Heat for. It’s been a while and the irrational loathing has grown stale.