Ray Lewis Thinks You’re A Criminal

Senior Writer
05.23.11 4 Comments

Until now, the hardest part about this NFL lockout ordeal for most of us was worrying about planning our fantasy football draft parties, but it turns out that people out there actually depend on the NFL for their income and supporting their families. Who knew? But according to Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, this whole lockout thing goes way beyond franchise employees, stadium vendors, parking attendants and posse and entourage members.

“Do this research if we don’t have a season — watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks up, if you take away our game,” Ray Lewis told ESPN.

“There’s too many people that live through us, people live through us,” he said. “Yeah, walk in the streets, the way I walk the streets, and I’m not talking about the people you see all the time.” (New York Daily News)

Of course we all know that Lewis was charged with obstruction of justice in 2000, after he lied to the police about the stabbing of two men after a Super Bowl party in Atlanta. Lewis was originally charged with the murder of the men, but his lawyer had the murder charges dismissed if he agreed to testify against his friends, and because Lewis’ white suit, presumably covered with blood, was never found. Meanwhile, Lewis settled privately with the families of the men that his friends killed, because that’s what most innocent men do. I just wanted to refresh our memories and bask in the irony.

Regardless, Lewis is right, and the onslaught of seemingly innocent people turning to lives of crime has already begun. For instance, a Georgia man clearly stole an ambulance and led police on a high speed chase because the Falcons can’t be on Hard Knocks unless the lockout is lifted. Or the Louisiana man who was arrested for public masturbation, as he must be devastated over the lack of New Orleans Saints cheerleader appearances. Hell, even a group of Florida teens at a pajama party were shot at by some local skaters because the Miami Dolphins can’t address their holes on offense. Damn this lockout, it’s worse than the rapture.

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