ROFLMNBAO: Kobe's Black Mask, 2012-2012

With the NBA trade deadline just 7 days away, all of the media’s focus is on the big market teams and their needs, which begs the question – which chump teams are gonna get fleeced? The quick answer: probably none. The Orlando Magic currently have the 5th best record in the entire league, which absolutely baffles me after watching them stand still and take it hard against the 4-win Charlotte Bobcats the other night, but then that’s how the wonderful world of sports works. So they’re most likely not trading Dwight Howard, and every other team is stuck waiting to see what happens with that to make their own moves. Classic log jam, folks.
Common sense says that Orlando won’t get a Denver Nuggets-type haul at the deadline, so that means the Magic instead want to move some of their crap for another team’s lesser crap. Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers sure could use some help, as could pretty much any team that isn’t the Chicago Bulls, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs or Miami Heat. Face it, your team is pretty much screwed.