Sacre Bleu! Montreal Wants Baseball Again

Senior Writer
07.29.11 12 Comments

According to Roger Brulotte, the former French-language broadcaster for the Montreal Expos, an unidentified investment group has been pestering him for a few years about their desire to bring professional baseball back to Canada’s France. Brulotte previously thought it was just the wine talking, but he says that now these guys mean serious business and are determined to rape that black female cat with the white paint stripe convince Bud Selig to consider Montreal for expansion.

Through fancy numbers – presumably metric – Brulotte and others have pointed out that Montreal could handle it, especially if the city builds a new stadium and hires a GM that doesn’t trade every single good player that he will ever have.

“The Expos were regularly stripped of their talent and mismanaged,” said MLB. com reporter Barry Bloom, a longtime baseball writer. “They would need a new stadium above all else, but the precedent is there.

“Seattle lost the Pilots and got the Mariners. Milwaukee lost the Braves and got the Brewers. Kansas City lost the Athletics and got the Royals. New York lost the Dodgers and Giants, and got the Mets. And we know what happened in Washington.” (Via the Montreal Gazette)

Can I save you some time, Montreal? No. No you can’t have another baseball team. It’s not totally your fault, though. Sure, your Expos seemed to be developing into a dynasty before the 1994 strike, but after that it was one giant mime fart. But baseball needs contraction, not expansion, and you can thank two crappy ownership groups in Florida for that. You know, Florida and Montreal are a lot alike – we both can’t support talented baseball teams and we speak a different language from the rest of our countries. Maybe we can share.

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