03.09.07 11 years ago 7 Comments

Yesterday the Internet gossip world came to a screeching halt when some Brazilian website made an unfounded claim that Gisele Bundchen was pregnant by Tom Brady. In an absolutely shocking turn of events, several people who claim to know Gisele — her family members — say that the report is completely false.

“It is not true,” G.’s papa, Valdir, told O Dia gossip columnist Sabrina Grimberg. “I speak with Gisele every day and she would have told me.” …

[Gisele's sister] Raquel also told [Brazilian website] Ego that Gisele’s twin sister, Patricia, told her: “People are inventing things.”

Okay, forget this retarded pregnancy story. Gisele has a twin sister? How am I just learning this now? All you atheists better throw the car in reverse, because we just got proof that there is, indeed, a God.

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