04.14.10 8 years ago 3 Comments

Thanks to imaginative folks at Pangea food, you need no longer while away your mornings glumly looking at your breakfast toast, wistfully waiting for the logo of your favorite sports team to materialize before you jam the burnt bread into your fat face. Unless you’ve been already been slapping logo stickers on your toast, in which case I think you’ve already solved that problem, though I’d advise seeing a doctor anyway.

That’s right, starting next month, Pangea will introduce ProToast, a toaster designed to burn the logo of sports teams from four professional leagues into your toast. Also in the works is a panini press and a waffle maker. It will retail for the low, low price of $34.99, making it a relatively inexpensive alternative for rednecks hoping to mark their friend’s ass with a cattle brand. But is it a minor betrayal to eat an object that is now bearing the logo of your team of choice. Great, now you’ll never be able to eat your buddy’s ass.

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