That’s It, I’m Done With Gambling

Diana Inch is a 44-year old high school librarian and girls soccer coach in Oregon. She is also the only person out of 3 million entrants in the Yahoo! Tourney Pick ‘Em to correctly predict the Final Four teams. She also correctly predicted Connecticut and Butler in the Championship game, and sure enough she had the Huskies winning the title. So how did this seemingly extraordinary sports genius make her predictions? By using her favorite numbers and picking dogs and cats, of course.

Inch’s formula included her favorite numbers and team mascots. She titled her entry Di’s 711 XV Cats & Dogs. In the first round she picked the No. 7 and 11 seeds in almost every round. In ensuing rounds she picked according to team mascots, leaning to those with cats or dogs.

“I have watched the games on my computer,” Inch said. “I’m as surprised as anyone that I got the Final Four.” (Via the Albany Democrat-Herald)

Why are you surprised, Diana? This is how it always happens. You should try fantasy football next year and draft your team based on which player has the cutest ass.

Unfortunately for Diana, though, her luck has brought her no instant wealth, and just some bragging rights. Even before UConn won the (incredibly boring) championship game last night, Diana was in 781st place in the Yahoo! competition, 13 wins behind the first place entrant, so she won’t see any of the $5,000 top prize. But with that cushy high school librarian/soccer coach salary, she hardly needs it.