FlipBoard
Hello Impact wrestlefriends! Another week, another good show! I know! I’m surprised too. A few things first:
– The Best and Worst of NXT is a thing that is happening, and it’s rad. Best: You reading all of the Bests and Worsts. Do that here!
– Also rad? Being Twitter bros. Follow me here, With Leather here, and UPROXX here. If you like sports comedy updates, Game of Thrones gifs, and cartoon representations of Evan Gelistico, these links are invaluable.
This week on Impact: Staggering highs! Crushing lows! And Joseph Park!
![[avatar]](https://profilecdn-woven.netdna-ssl.com/photo/3263/profile)
I love EY & ODB so much that last night I set my DVR for a fishing show…. a FISHING SHOW!
Regional Note: Joseph Park looks like he’s the chief accountant at every Giant Tiger ever. (By that, I mean he looks badass.)
I’m just at the 2nd page and I disagree with everything in this report :(
I hope the rest is better … I’m not sure after all these reports from you, Danielle … you’ve lost something and I don’t know what it is …
kazarian never said that having a lot of boyfriends means that a girl is a slut … he didn’t even mean it … none of us thought he did !
you didn’t mention how awesome is cutting a promo while playing a piano !
christopher daniels being storm’s old partner doesn’t mean anything now that he’s his enemy and he declared that he hates him and wants to beat him up !
hogan wasn’t funny at all here as much as he sounded .. just … I don’t know .. rambling anything ?! is he at that age yet ?
I don’t know what’s funny to you in making fun of old men’s duck faces …
I just hope the rest of the column is better …
whether or not you agree with something in the report shouldn’t make it “good” or “bad.” The trick isn’t to match opinions.
your totally write, Brandon :)
I’m sorry, I should’ve said “I hope the rest is more like I, personally, might like” …
but note that I never said that I “hated” anything from what Danielle thinks ! I just said that I disagreed with them … and like you said, the fun is in debating and communicating with each other about our personal opinions :D
You see, thinking it isn’t slut shaming means you’re a misogynist because that is anti-feministic, anything cliche, trite or ridiculous which happens in TNA is Slut-shaming because ??? (I would be disagreeing with you and siding with Danielle but she doesn’t like English Crowds (It was the last English B&W of Impact she did, I believe) (I’m like an Elephant or a Camel, I have a long memory and I’m quite spiteful like a Ghost Type. I’m a Ghost Type Elephant. There should be a Ghost Type Elephant. Why isn’t there a Ghost Type Elephant?)) Still I think she’s saying that because a heel hates a face and that heel used to team with the face then the heel’s got a STD because the heel’s new best friend said that the face was Cowboy Taylor Swift, that’s my opinion anyway.
you still are making much more of it than it should, and also are ignoring the other awesome things that happened during that promo :(
but maybe I’m just an asshole (and if I am, then I’m really sorry !)(what kind of asshole says that he’s sorry ?!) because I laughed when he said that .. and when he joked with aries that time ! and when aries did … what he did … but you get the point !
I’m sorry .. I’m sorry .. I’m super sorry ! but in my opinion, kazarian did nothing worng as “the bad guy” …
“*you’re” in my reply to brandon … DAMN ! how could I have forgotten ?!
Look, Brandon, I usually enjoy Danielle’s columns too but “whether or not you agree with something in the report shouldn’t make it ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ The trick isn’t to match opinions.” is a little rich when it’s coming from the guy whose most popular column is partially titled “Best and Worst.” It’s kind of hilarious when that same quote comes from the guy who normally spends a good portion of that same column writing about how the WWE is the worst because parts of the stories the WWE tells doesn’t match his view of the way the world should be.
The trick isn’t getting all smarmy and superior when people express opinions you disagree with, either, Brandon.
gotta say, there’s nothing funny about gunner … or crimson !
those 2 look legit, and move like they’re supposed to !
they also aren’t bad on the mic at all !
but I hated that, with the knowledge I got from watching wrestling for so long (I started watching wrestling like .. only 4 years ago !), they made parks win here ONLY to let him be last year’s BFG series’s robbie e, aka the one that jobs in the series so that the others can get points … while I thought that crimson would’ve been a much better choice to win since he would’ve brought more legitmacy to the series which is full of tough looking guys up to now ! and because he’s younger and would’ve got more from it going into the future than joseph park will …
but I still liked that park won (because man, did you see how happy he was hugging earl hebner ?!) … and because sometimes, it takes a good loss to wake up an angry tough guy ! see also antonio cesaro and sami zayn’s fued in NXT over the past month :)
in morgan’s case, I think that there’s nothing wrong with a heel acting like he deserves more than he gets ! especially when he’s that huge but still loses !! because that would make YOU “hate” HIM for “acting” like a little brat instead of, you know, freakin’ just shutting up and fighting ! or whatever you want him to do …
and as for the match, it was a GREAT match in my opinion !! and all the moves looked very good ! EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE LOOSY LOOKING PUNCH THAT YOU HATED SO MUCH !! did you even consider that it “shouldn’t look like it hurt” since the one he was facing was rob the terminator terry ?!!!
the thing I saw first when I started watching TNA was the main event mafia !
I only started watching TNA because of them ! I heard about them and decided to check it out and give TNA a try !
and although I didn’t like them, but I saw the X-division, the knockouts division, the tag division and all the other awesome singles stars ! and I became a fan of TNA !!
but that would’ve never happened if it wasn’t for the MEM in first place, actully !
so, sometimes, things can do more good than you know !
I’m not saying that I like the idea, if you thought that I do :)
all I’m saying, is that I got a swift spot in my heart for the main event mafia especially, because they were the reason I started watching TNA (even though they were so shitty) !
so, maybe the NEW main event mafia becomes the reason for someone else to start watching TNA ?!
but everything I said before aside, you are truly THE BEST WRITER ON THE INTERNET that I know of, danielle :D
but I really wanted to hear more from you (or in this case, read) on everything you gave a best ! although you did a perfect job of showing how wonderful they were in very few words ! only because I LOVE~ reading your work !
keep these IMPACT reviews coming ;) sorry for sounding like a pain in the ass so much above in the comments :'(
I loved that Crimson is just gonna wear his OVW Coalition sleeveless desert cammo jacket to the ring and not mention anything about it.
ha ha ! I was thinking the same X)
maybe he’s gonna join some kind of criminal familia soon ? maybe he’s gonna get in some .. MAFIA ;D
seriously, the NEW main event mafia is not as much of a bad idea as it sounds ! I mean, ofcourse the old one was shitty ! because it consisted of OLD ones !!
but a NEW one with NEW (and hopefully) YOUNG wrestlers that need a bit of a rub so to speak to put them over at first might be very good !
I kinda dug this review, I didn’t get the Worst for Austin Aries (I mean he came out, where’s the worst?) And the first 2 pages were meh (because it’s going mundane) but yeah I kinda dug it. (I would say more but this is Uproxx and everyone fucking hates me for having differing opinions on Uproxx (See Mario Kart and this))
sorry of you feel that way … I did too …or should it be “I do too” ?! because I still feel like that :(
however, yeah ! seeing someone writing that he “loved~” something always feels better :)
btw, did you guys vote for SHANNA in the gut check final bracket ?!
if you didn’t, go and see her gut check promo on youtube, see john klinger’s promo (the only man standing in her way to make the KO’s division even more awesome) and then decide if it’s as much important as I’m thinking it is to vote for her not only to let her win, but to prevent that other BORING guy from winning as well !
a link for that : [www.tnasylum.com]
NOOOOOOOOOOO !
f*cking john klinger won !
I don’t know him that much, but I hate him already >:(
I really Really REALLY wanted shanna to win :”(
[postimg.org]
I now love jeff hardy :)
Yeah, the Kaz promo and match were both pretty weak last night. But we’re getting more ODB which makes me the happiest girl in the world. And douchebag-Mickie James is great so far. I hope this version of EY becomes more than his character with Orlando Jordan
And I enjoyed this week’s write-up, btw. I know I got bitchy about it last week, so I wanted to add that
Is it just me or is Taz getting slightly better at announcing? He had a William Regal style comment about Kurt Angle suplexing that surprised me (mostly because it wasn’t him making some sort of gay joke about two men touching).
since kenely went away, he tuned down on making fun of most of the things and ofcourse stopped fighting so much with his fellow announcers …
maybe he’s scared that TNA might really not resign with him and probably just fire him like kenely and get a new announcer like they did when they got kenely in first place ?!
Impact appears to put together back-to-back good episodes.
actully, except for the last 4-5 months, IMPACT has ALWAYS put many great episodes eery week for about a full year and a half !!!
I started watching TNA in late 2011, and I don’t remember ONE bad episode (maybe some bad segments, ofcourse .. but not an overall bad episode) until all the drama with brooke hogan, bully ray, the hulkester and the aces & 8’s became in full swing and sorta kinda affected everything else on the show because TNA stopped caring about anything else …
but now, with the BFG series, things have gone back to how good they were :D
TNA is really awesome ! not PWG awesome .. or CHIKARA awesome .. or NXT awesome …… but very awesome compared to raw and smackdown (yes, even with bryan, the shield and the wyatt family there ! because they are ALMOST the only thing consestantly great there)
Mickie James was the best thing on TNA and now I’m worried we’re in Bizarro world! I wanted her to yank off Velvet’s leg like a cooked turkey’s leg and take a bite. She could be the new Bully Ray: a periphery character with nothing to offer and no one gave a shit about gradually becoming a vicious SOB with a mean streak a mile wide and great promo work.
But why the MEM hate? I enjoyed them the first time around. The show where they took over and had Booket T on commentary as ‘Black Snow’ (leading to him commentating on his own beat-down of the Front Line) is one of my favourite wrestling memories.
Most of the time I see Crimson I think back to “Jeff Jarrett, MMA Killing Machine” and it makes me pine for the days of Double J putting eight year olds in heel hooks. I miss those days.
That A&8 Battle Royal was the Greatest Event In The History Of Our Sport.
Wait, isn’t Kazarian a bad guy?
EX-F*CKIN’-ACTLY >:D !!!
I don’t think you guys are getting the point of why Danielle and Brandon complain about it. The issue isn’t only with the fact that it’s there, but that it is done in a casual, off-handed way.
If a wrestler came up and his gimmick was that he’s basically Dick Masterson, the wrestler, then it would make sense for him to demean and objectify women. And he would be HATED for it, and would eventually get his comeuppance, and hopefully by a woman because that’s really the only way to close the story properly.
By contrast, Kazarian is ALREADY A BAD GUY. And he’s done it, not by being offensive to women, but by being up his own ass about himself. It doesn’t fit his character, and so it sticks out in a weird, wrong way that you can’t handwave by saying OH BUT HE’S A BAD GUY SO IT’S OKAY. The way the joke was set up was even stretching it for a pop culture reference.
“It was an act of god to stop me from bringing the hammer all the way down, and chopping him down with the edge of my hand.”
OK. So apparently Hulk Hogan thinks his daughter is God. That…explains a lot. One thing it doesn’t explain is people booing at him sending her home. I know, I know, Hot Blonde Is Hot but c’mon. Also, this opening segment totally validated the Bully Ray Hears People Yelling and Becomes Enraged Because HE’S the One Who Yells Theory. I giggled quite embarrassingly when he…well…yelled: “WHY IS EVERYBODY YELLING?!”
Let me state for the record (yet again) that I’m 100% in agreement that what Kaz and Daniels said in that promo was not OK. If you laughed at it, no, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you don’t recognize privilege or misogyny when you see it. Most people don’t. That’s OK. But when someone points it out, you might want to try seeing things from their point of view instead of casually dismissing them as “overly P.C.” or whatever other stupid cliches people resort to in order to marginalize the opinions of those who challenge the normalization of oppression. And, no, Bad Influence being heels doesn’t make it OK either. In order for that argument to hold any water there would at least need to be a face on the show that publicly denounces their misogyny/homophobia. Otherwise these comments are there specifically to make people laugh and not to portray the characters as heels.
I am madly in love with Mickie James’s heel turn but I’m not really as surprised as Danielle. I’ll admit I haven’t seen that much of Mickie James but I do vividly remember her awesome feud with Trish Stratus and the phenomenal ring psychology of their match at WrestleMania 22 so I definitely knew she was capable of this. Mickie James with a mean streak and/or mental problems is the best kind of Mickie James.
I have to admit I kind of secretly loved the absurdity of Matt Morgan yelling about somehow being above qualifying for the BFG Series. I was also very pleasantly surprised to see him not win even though he cut a promo before the match AND was the only one who got an actual entrance on TV.
There are legitimately no words to express the way Eric Young being on my TV makes me feel so I’ll just leave it at that.
I wish there was more said about the Battle Royal because my GOD that was glorious. I can’t remember the last time TNA made me laugh THAT hard. That was seriously perfect. You knew they would pick a guy and let him win but the way it was executed was just fucking MWAH! Devon’s face upon “realizing” he had been “tricked” FOREVER AND EVER
Oh, oh, oh, and I almost forgot: Garrett Bischoff being the Ric Flair to Mr. Anderson’s Hulk Hogan (complete with “NOOO” and *makes timeout signal with hands*) was the best thing anyone named Bischoff has ever done.
all your points are so awesome and I totally agree X)
except for the point where you said that “kazarian saying that taylor swift had many boyfriends means that he thinks she’s a slut” … because it’s just not correct and not logical O_o ! there’s NOTHING wrong with having as much boyfriends (or even girlfriends ! yeah …) as you want ! and I don’t think that kazarian thinks (or wants us to think) that she’s a slut AT ALL …
other than that, I want to say that I always LOVE~ your comments around here :D they’re also pretty much very similar to what I think of during the show but then forget about writing here (or get lazy and not do it anyway) !!!
especially the aces & 8’s hilarious (and emotional ! because by god it got me emotional at the end with D.O.C. as well imagining if they’ll treat him like d’lo after that !! I was yelling at my screen “NO, D.O.C. ! GET OUT !! SAVE YOURSELF !! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?!! NO !!!”) battle royal ones XD
Wanda: “Stop yelling at Timmy!”
Timmy: “Stop yelling at Cosmo!”
Wanda: “Well, stop yelling at me for yelling at Cosmo for yelling at you!”
Timmy: “Stop yelling at me for yelling at you for yelling at Cosmo for yelling at me!”
Wanda: “Stop yelling at me for yelling at you for yelling at me for yelling at Cosmo for yelling at you!”
Cosmo: “Stop yelling at Timmy for yelling at you for yelling at him for yelling at blah-blah blah blah blah blah-blah…!”
Timmy: “That’s IT! I’m sick of people yelling! I’m sick of the noise! All I want is complete and utter silence!” (goes under bed covers) “And put it in wish form!”
It might be just because I am old and out of touch with what is considered new and good in the world of wrestling. I am willing to acknowledge that. But this week being the first time I have watched both TNA and WWE in years I really found TNA to be overall far more enjoyable for me. It might just be nostalgia but I really liked the Aces and Eights storyline.
it IS far better than wwe in a LOT of things MOST OF THE TIME !
except for daniel bryan ofcourse :)
and the shield … and the wyatt family …
but TNA is really REALLY good most of the time !
Why the hell was there tagging in a fatal four way match?
Why the hell isn’t Rampage showing up in a truck with an enormous picture of himself on the side? Is that only good for UFC advertising? Nay, I say.
MEM 4 LIFE!!!
Toooooooo Sweeeeeeet!!!
And if he had said that “James Storm has had as many tag partners as (insert famous male rock star) has had one night stands” does anyone get offended? Of course not. Just because he said Taylor Swift has had a lot of boyfriends, which is a fact and not some sort of made up statement that can’t be argued, it doesn’t mean it was sexist or misogynistic. How is pointing out a legitimate fact portray a hatred of women?