The Biggest Tease Of A Fake Sports Story

While working on yet another spotlight-stealing post for Vince at FilmDrunk, I used the ol’ Googles to search news stories about director Michael Bay and I was immediately drawn to the headline of one particular post:

Hollywood Director, Michael Bay Buys Canucks

I’ll allow Pam from Archer to give a visual breakdown of my brain upon reading that:

Unfortunately, it took me just two sentences to understand that it was a fake news story, and words can’t even express how disappointed that made me. And there’s obviously no point in discussing a fake sports story, but it’s the basic idea of a guy like Bay purchasing a professional sports franchise that I’ve bumped to the top of my list of things that need to happen immediately. Okay, maybe it’s second behind “Become insanely wealthy and Indecent Proposal Kate Upton” but it’s still a huge priority.

So I got to thinking, “What would it look like if Michael Bay owned a NHL franchise?” *strokes patchy chin stubble* Hmmmmm…