The Dugout: Beat L.A.

04.05.11 7 years ago 31 Comments


Something’s not quite right about baseball season this year. Maybe it needs time to settle. The Baltimore Orioles are 4-0. The Tampa Bay Rays added some big name free agents to their roster and they’ve yet to win a game. Cats and dogs are living together. Mass hysteria.

Whatever the problem, it’s time for the Rays to come together and figure out how to start winning ball games. Tonight they take on the Angels, and because you have never heard a joke about how long that team’s name is before, here is another one: The Los Angeles California Angels of the West Coast of the United States Area Code 90012 But Actually Anaheim.

Today’s Dugout follows.

The Dugout

  **Online Host**
Welcome to the Tampa Bay Rays Chatroom!
Maddon11: so, we lost three games in a row to the Baltimore Orioles. Now I’m open to suggestions on-
Maddon11: kyle what are you doing

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hangen myself to my fcuken death with this rope

cant live with the exerstential traumas of liven in a worl where baltimores orioles are my superior, would rather be ed up by some worms

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i explaned it all in the note
Maddon11: Get down from there, nobody’s killing themselves. I mean, we used to play in jet black and neon green, it gets better
Maddon11: so, suggestions on how to beat the Angels tonight
MannyTheTorpedoes: ha we try scoring only 1 run
Maddon11: yeah, we did that.
MannyTheTorpedoes: like on price is righ so we no go over
Maddon11: no, we already tried that.
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: have you considered brunging in the houdini of hard core kyle farnsworth to pitch 1/3 inning an give up 1 hit
Maddon11: We tried that, too.
BrignacPaddywhack: Have you tried our Secret Weapon?
Maddon11: are you talking about you
BrignacPaddywhack: Yes!
Maddon11: are we talking about your .000 batting average, your 0 RBI or your 0 home runs
BrignacPaddywhack: c’mon skip, those are antiquated statistics and you know it
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ya its like "wins" for a pitcher
MannyTheTorpedoes: or wince for beisbol clob
BrignacPaddywhack: We might not be winning any games, but we’re being extremely intangible about it.
Maddon11: Well, we need to tangible. How do we win tonight?
BrignacPaddywhack: Kidnap and torture the Rally Monkey!
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: kidnape an torture tim salmon
MannyTheTorpedoes: play spies
MannyTheTorpedoes: kidnap an torture spies
Maddon11: Any suggestions not involving kidnappings or torture?
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: can we have the oriols play them instead
BrignacPaddywhack: yeah skip, the O’s are great, they’re like a super team of Monstar minor leaguers!
MannyTheTorpedoes: an flaggererro
BrignacPaddywhack: and Derrek Lee!
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: an jeff conine probly
BrignacPaddywhack: yeah, let the O’s play the Angels instead!
MannyTheTorpedoes: the oase
Maddon11: What about us? Isn’t there something we can do? Without the Orioles?
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: lol probly not
Photos link to player info.

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