01.09.07 12 years ago 3 Comments

One of Major League Baseball's priorities this off-season is to get a new stadium deal completed for the oft-maligned Florida Marlins. And it looks like the state legislature has got it all figured out:

The latest plan to build the cash-strapped Florida Marlins a new stadium in downtown Miami involves using millions of dollars of money meant to improve blighted neighborhoods.

Makes sense to me. Nothing improves a blighted neighborhood like a state-of-the-art baseball stadium. Well, I guess it's not so much the baseball stadium that improves it as the dilapidated homes that get paved over in order to make parking lots. I'd say give the new homeless people jobs as parking attendants, but you can't very well trust them with that kind of responsibility. Can't we just ship them somewhere else? Like — say — the bottom of the ocean.

Jeez, and if the poor people aren't making a big enough of a stink about it, it's rich people in ivory towers who fuck it up for everyone else in ivory towers:

Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, like [John] Henry before him, says he's stuck in a no-win lease agreement at Dolphin Stadium, where most concession revenues go to ballpark owner and Miami Dolphins owner H. Wayne Huizenga.

Man, it's gotta be tough to be Jeffrey Loria. It's not easy starting eight rookies with the lowest payroll in the majors and still almost making the playoffs. Who would have known he'd accidentally hire the Manager of the Year by choosing the relatively inexperienced Joe Girardi? Thank God he got rid of that guy.

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