UFC is back in Brazil with a Fight Night card that will hopefully leave the locals very happy. The fights kick off at 7:00 PM ET on Fight Pass, so let’s not waste any time and jump right into the picks!
Important Standings of Note:
Jessica: 345-215-4 (62%)
Burnsy: 346-213-5 (62%)
Vince: 182-112-2 (62%)
Ryan: 8-2-1 (77%)
Danny: 161-77-1 (67%)
Spilled: 76-56-2 (57%)
Sydnie: 16-12 (57%)
Chris: 30-10 (75%)
NY Ric: 36-26-1 (57%)
Ghost: 6-7 (46%)
Seth: 32-15 (68%)
Biss: 41-39-1 (51%)
Jared: 5-5 (50%)
Flyweight – Bentley “Dr. Bolivia” Syler vs Fredy “El Profe” Serrano
Jessica: Two undefeated guys, but Syler has more experience and a much cooler and menacing nickname. DOCTOR BOLIVIA is totally the name of an evil super genius with an eyepatch and a volcano lair. I’ll take Doctor Bolivia to beat up the Professor and win with a third round TKO.
Jared: Fredy Serrano is an Olympian and has a Wiki page. Bentley Syler is not and does not. This is a classic case of bookies basing their lines completely off of the fighter’s records in lieu of any actual info on either fighter. Serrano.
Burnsy: Mother F-ing DR. BOLIVIA is my new favorite MMA nickname. I want the announcer to introduce him as Mr. Bolivia, just so Syler can take the mic and shout, “THAT’S DOCTOR, BRO!” Always take the Dr. to win.
Lightweight – Jorge “Blade” de Oliveira vs Christos “The Spartan” Giagos
Jessica: While it is always really funny for a raucous Brazilian crowd to get silenced early with a loss, I’m taking Jorge in this fight. I think he’s going to punch Giagos in the face really hard and that’s gonna be a wrap on this fight. De Oliveira wins with a second round KO.
Jared: Christos Giagos has wins over legitimate competition. “Blade” does not. Giagos.
Burnsy: I hope everyone from Blade’s camp has nicknames out of Dodgeball. Despite the fact that he has my least favorite nickname in MMA, though, I’m going with Giagos for experience.
Lightweight – Leonardo “Macarrao” Mafra vs Cain “Insane” Carrizosa
Jessica: Both guys are coming off losses, but Mafra faced a better fighter in Rick Story compared to Cain’s Chris Wade. However, Mafra is dropping down from welterweight, and his nickname means “Macaroni”. There’s no way I’m picking a guy named Macaroni in any combat sport. Carrizosa wins by unanimous decision.
Jared: Carrizosa is a grappler who got guillotined inside two minutes in his UFC debut. I can’t with any confidence pick that man.
Burnsy: HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MACARRAO, ALLLLLRIGHT!
Lightweight – Leandro “Buscape” Silva vs Drew Dober
Jessica: The last time Dober lost, he found love, so I don’t know if I want to condemn Gloria Hein to a breakup by predicting his loss. Both guys are 1-2 in the UFC, and I think I’m giving the slight edge to Dober based on competition. I think the fight will be close, but Dober will manage to squeak by with a victory. Dober wins by decision.
Jared: Wait, isn’t Dober the guy who submitted Jamie Varner after he had already knocked himself out? Am I right there? Is this MMA? I guess I’ll take Silva.
Burnsy: Damn it, Jessica already told the wonderful story of Drew Dober getting his ass kicked and still landing the babe. Oh well. I’m picking Silva to win and Dober to land a date with his mom.
Featherweight – Edimilson “Kevin” Souza vs Katsunori Kikuno
Jessica: Seriously? Kevin is not a nickname. Get the frog outta here, Souza. Kikuno is going to crescent kick “Kevin” in the liver fifty times and win with a second round TKO.
Jared: Kikuno’s strategy of absorbing punches with his hands at his sides will not work well against a slick boxer like Souza. I love me some throwback Japanese MMA and am therefore always pulling for Kikuno, but Souza is built like (and fights like) Tony Ferguson, who absolutely waxed Kikuno back at UFC 173.
Burnsy: The only way this fight could be better is if Kikuno’s nickname was Carl or Steve. Regardless, I’ll take Kevin to win via just being the typical Kevster.
Lightweight – Francisco “Massaranduba” Trinaldo vs Akbahr “El Caballero” Arreola
Jessica: Akbarh must pay penance for what he did to Yves Edwards in Austin. I hope Francisco grapples all over him and submits him in the second. ANGER BASED PREDICTIONS ARE THE BEST
Jared: This one’s kind of a toss-up for me, as I’m not really familiar with either guy. Trinaldo, however, has only lost to pretty top shelf competition, so I’ll go with him.
Burnsy: Last time I made fun of Arreola’s well-rounded and puffy last name, he made Yves Edwards look like a chump in the first round. I’ll respect the Arreola this time and give him the win.
Featherweight – Godofredo “Pepey” Pepey vs Andre “Touchy” Fili
Jessica: The dude creates twitter campaigns during his weight cuts based around people eating pizza on his behalf, and he is a “piano key” belt in Joe Jitsu. It’s going to take a lot of bad stuff for me to not pick Touchy Fili. I think he’ll use his reach to box up Pepey, knock the dye out of his hair and win with a first round TKO.
Jared: “Pepey” is on the heels of insane back-to-back performances, having flying knee KO’d Noah Lahat (?) and triangle-armbar Dashon Johnson. That said, Fili is a technical scrapper with some lightning fast hands. This will be a banger, folks, but Fili will take it.
Burnsy: I like few fighters as much as I like Fili. He’s just an awesome dude, so I won’t pick against him.
Lightweight – Gilbert “Durinho” Burns vs Alex “Cowboy” Oliveira
Jessica: Uh, dude, there’s already a much better Cowboy at lightweight, you need to find a new nickname. Plus, there’s no way I’m picking against Burnsy’s Brazilian cousin at this point. Gil is going to submit the Cowboy in the very first round. Yeehaw.
Jared: Burns is a beast, and Oliveira is fighting on short notice. This is an obvious pick.
Burnsy: BURNSY! BURNSY! BURNSY! I want to meet Gilbert at some point so I can be like, “We should tell people we’re related,” and then he’ll give me a confused and/or dirty look and walk away. It’ll be classic Burns boy banter.
Bantamweight – Amanda “The Lioness” Nunes vs Shayna “Queen of Spades” Baszler
Jessica: I can understand Baszler feeling frustrated. She was already 8-4 by the time Nunes had her first pro fight. Shayna has been doing this for a long time and is really only now getting onto the big stages. Baszler doesn’t do great against opponents with a lot of power, and Nunes has a nearly 90% KO rate. On the flip side, Shayna is dangerous on the ground. Just because someone other than Ronda needs to win at some point, I’ll say Baszler makes the Four Horsewomen proud and submits Nunes in the second round.
Jared: Speaking of obvious picks, Amanda Nunes, how *you* doin? I’ll give “The Queen of Spades” all the credit in the world for pioneering this whole WMMA thing, but nothing she has done on TUF or in the UFC makes me think she has a chance here.
Burnsy: Despite her loss to Cat “:14” Zingano, Nunes is quickly becoming my third favorite female fighter behind Queen Rousey and the Polish girl whose name I can’t spell but stole my heart last week. So I pick her.
Lightweight – Leonardo Santos vs Tony Martin
Jessica: I was going to say that this was kind of a toss up for me, but when I did my customary research, Tapology said that Martin trains with Team Lloyd Irvin and I shuddered for five minutes. Santos will punch Tony in the face and submit him in the first.
Jared: I’m kind of surprised to see Santos as the underdog here. I mean, sure, his last fight Efrain Escudero was one of the hands down worst fights of last year, but he has some wins over decent level competition. Martin’s only UFC win, however, has come over Fabricio Camoes, who himself holds a 1-4-1 UFC record. Martin arguably has more ways to win, but only in the first round. Santos.
Burnsy: I’m picking Santos just because I read their names and I thought Martin was a NASCAR driver.
Welterweight – Erick “Indio” Silva vs Josh “Kos” Koshcheck
Jessica: Josh said he thought about hitting Ellenberger in the nuts to escape the choke at UFC 184. He’s also lost four in a row. I think it’s time for Josh to retire, and Silva is just the guy to help him with that. Erick has a lot of power and good submission skills, so unless Josh lands a crazy stupid punch of death, I’m putting in with Erick. I’ll say Silva drops Kos and finishes him with a submission in the first.
Jared: I’m always hesitant to bet on Silva, who has flip-flopped between hot prospect and can crusher his entire UFC career, but Koscheck was full-on Filhoing against Jake Ellenberger at UFC 184. Which was like, two weeks ago. He doesn’t have it.
Burnsy: Since joining the UFC in 2011, Silva has been the elite win-lose fighter. He’s 5-4 in 9 fights and his record indicates that it’s time to lose. But it’s Koscheck we’re talking about, and the dude has lost four straight, and he’s only fought four times since 2012. I’d love to see some vintage Kos here, but it’s time to hang it up. I’m predicting a loss followed by retirement.
Welterweight – Demian Maia vs Ryan LaFlare
Jessica: I am really excited for this contest. LaFlare holds a special place in my heart for that omoplata sweep, and no, I don’t care how many years ago that was. Maia is really fun when he doesn’t try to kickbox dudes, but I don’t know how much of a choice he’ll have in this fight since I think LaFlare will keep the fight standing because, dude, it’s Demian Maia, don’t go to the ground with him! I’m giving Ryan the edge here, so LaFlare takes a decision.
Jared: You know, it’d be easy to knock the UFC for putting on another garbage card, but let’s not forget that Fight Night 62 was originally headlined by Urijah Faber vs. Raphael Assuncao until injuries. Injuries, you guys.
As for the current main event, it’s a classic matchup of fading “star” vs hungry up-and-comer. This fight should be a set-up to introduce the Canadian to the top 10, who will blahblahblah Maia until yaddayadda-
Burnsy: I like LaFlare a lot and want this fight to be good, because I did a ton of yardwork today and don’t have the energy to complain about another bad free fight card. Especially since I’m saving all of my energy for complaining about Cro Cop/Gonzaga 2. I pick LaFlare.
Performance of the Night
Jessica: Erick Silva, Andre Fili
Burnsy: Nunes, Burns
Fight of the Night
Jessica: Maia vs LaFlare
Burnsy: Silva vs Koscheck (fingers crossed)