With Leather’s Watch This: Lo Thine Fantasy Gods, We Beckon Ye For Peyton Manning

12.06.12 5 years ago

Earlier this week, in the Fantasy Football Support Group post, I broke down the strange, new curse that is the Thursday Night Football QB conundrum. Basically, with very few exceptions, quarterbacks – and a lot of stars in general – have been terrible on the NFL Network this season. As I finished writing that, something horrifying dawned on me – I have Peyton Manning on Thursday night this week in the first round of my main fantasy football league. F*********************ck me.

Even worse, I’m playing against Demaryius Thomas while I have Eric Decker. And I know that none of you care, but I’m FREAKING OUT, damn it. What’s that? I should just not play fantasy football, you say? Who let the devil comment on this website, anyway?

Thursday Night Football: Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders – 8:20 PM ET on NFL Network

I promise, if Peyton Manning gives me a strong game and limits his success to Thomas, I will buy a Papa John’s pizza this week. I will hate myself for it, because I have a god-like physical perfection to maintain, but I’m willing to sacrifice a few extra hours in the gym for bragging rights among friends.

NBA: New York Knicks at Miami Heat – 8 PM ET on TNT

I would both pee and poop my pants from laughter in the Knicks gave Carmelo Anthony and Tyson Chandler the night off. How much would David Stern fine them? $500,000? A million? He’d lose his sh*t and it would be hilarious.

NBA: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns – 10:30 PM ET on TNT

Ugh, who the hell picked this game? Stern should be fined $250,000 for making us watch this crap.

NCAA Basketball: Long Beach State at No. 4 Syracuse – 8 PM ET on ESPN2

I may just watch this game instead of TNF to save myself the horror and heart attack.

I know what will calm me down… let’s see what those Miss Bum Bum Brazil contestants are up to again.

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