03.12.09 9 years ago 6 Comments

If I had a dollar for every time I heard one of these “Woman Injures Herself With Sex Toy Attached To A Power Tool” stories…

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George’s County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade [Just like mom used to make! –Ed.] device on his partner, according to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman.

The woman was released from the hospital ‘s name has not been released, obviously because of sex machine shield laws. Seriously, why protect her? It’s not like she can hide from the shame. Now if you’ll excuse me, Ape and I are gonna head north and spend the day looking for sawed-up vaginas. As soon as we split a roast beef sandwich at Arby’s.


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