The 10 Bloodiest, Booziest Moments From Last Night’s ‘Boardwalk Empire’: ‘All In’

Senior Pop Culture Editor
09.30.13 56 Comments
boardwalk empire all in

HBO’s Boardwalk Empire is one of the most sprawling and involved shows on TV, with a cast the size of a beer barrel (or at least equal to The Wire). So all this season, the show’s fourth, we’ll be breaking down the 10 most bloody and boozy (and booby) from every season, beginning with last night’s premiere, “All In.”

blind prank

This would turn out to be only the second most gruesome prank. At least fatty got a sponge bath out of it.

undertaker boardwalk empire

Enough said.

harlem universal negro

At least six all-white University of Alabama frats own that exact flag. Anyway, Dunn’s made his move, literally. He travels from the Onyx Club up to Harlem, under the guise of his mama in Baltimore falling ill, to visit Valentin Narcisse. Excuse me, Dr. Valentin Narcisse. He proves his allegiance by waiting for the good doctor after previously having been kicked out of his office for bringing in illicit heroin money, and further shows he’s a man of loyal intentions when he roughs up a nobody smoking on a stoop. Narcisse sees Chalky as a “duppy,” and he won’t rest until he punishes and wipes out these blood suckers. Dunn is his willing wooden stake.

falling from building boardwalk

Capone and Van Alden are threatening Tyrion and Bronn for the TV Couple I’d Most Like to See Get Their Own Spin-Off Buddy Comedy. Capone wants the undertaker to work for him, busting kneecaps and cracking skulls, by leaving O’Banion for good. And if he does, they’ll sell his wife’s homemade aquavit. Van Alden’s stiff, yet menacing talents aren’t being appreciated in a flower shop, cutting and delivering the world’s saddest bouquet of daisies. The decision is made later on in the episode, when one of O’Banion’s employees recognizes Van Alden and before he can get away and tell his bosses what he saw, first Van Alden then Capon guns him down in the woods.

german singing

Being a nice guy does you no favors in this world. Kessler’s given an important task to accomplish for Nucky, and before long, he’s being led away by prohibition agents after a night spent getting drunk, singing German songs, and wearing only the finest white carnation, all because he couldn’t walk away from Ralph Capone’s dinner recommendation. Knox’s weakest link in the chain is the only semi-decent human in Nucky’s world. I’m scared.

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