Mustaches, Invisible Snakes, And Robots: Some Extremely Specific TV Awards For 2017

12.12.17 2 years ago 4 Comments

Well well well, looks like it is list-making time again. That’s what we do at the end of the year. We make lists. About everything. This particular list is about television. It’s not a best shows list, though. My colleague Alan Sepinwall has you covered with that in text form, and he and I already dedicated a podcast to that kind of thing. It’s not a list of big takeaways or themes from the year, either, although that could be an interesting list if you want to write it. No, this list celebrates the small things. The little details. The moments from television in 2017 that stood out the most. To me, I mean. This is my list. Feel free to add your favorites moments or things in the comments, or under your breath as you read it, or to me if you see me out in public. Wait, no. Not that last one. Please do not that.

Without further ado, I present the Second Annual Very Specific TV Awards.

Best Pout

Winner: Philip Jennings, The Americans

Philip Jennings was the saddest mad on television this year and it was not particularly close. He was sad all the time, in every episode, about a bunch of different things, and he wore his sadness on his face like so many fake mustaches. I started making jokes about it while I was recapping the season and now I have so many screencaps on my computer of him looking sad. So many. I spent five full minutes picking one for this post. I hope the final season opens with a 10-year tilt jump and he’s suddenly very happy and on the beach in Hawaii, with no explanation. Yes, I realize he is a Russian spy who is trying to destroy America. But still.

Best Athletic Feat By An Established Film Actress

Winner: Sigourney Weaver, The Defenders, and Diane Keaton, The Young Pope (tie)

This was really a banner year for legendary film actresses appearing on television shows and surprising me with feats of athleticism. Sigourney Weaver doing kung-fu is not something I expected to see in 2017, but Diane Keaton shooting hoops (terribly) while dressed like a nun is not something I expected to see ever. Impossible to choose. A tie it is.

Best Commitment To Dancing

Winner: Legion

Legion was a good and fun show about monsters and it was just loaded with dancing. There was a choreographed number at the beginning, there was a whole big thing with an evil Aubrey Plaza dancing through someone’s memories, and best of all, there was a funky Jemaine Clement dancing in an alternate universe cube made of ice. Solid.

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