Say It Ain’t So, Ames.

08.17.11 6 Comments

In shocking news that will shock you shockily, a romance that was created by and for a reality television show has fallen apart. Putting aside for the moment the most pressing issues (Can true love still exist in the face of such a tragedy? What’s the point of even living anymore? And so on), let’s just stick to the facts. Despite his dramatic romantic gesture on this week’s episode, “Bachelor Pad” contestants Ames and Jackie have already split up. From OK! Magazine:

Despite Ames’ grand gesture of turning down a chance at $250,000 to be with Jackie, the 31-year-old bachelor (from Ashley Hebert‘s season of The Bachlorette) told reporters during a conference call today that they couldn’t make their relationship work.

“We had a great time on the show and chose love over money in the competition,” Ames told reporters today, via Access Hollywood. “We are not still dating, but we enjoyed every moment we had together.”

On last night’s episode, Jackie was eliminated following a group vote, and Ames didn’t want to stay in the house without her, so he gallantly chased after her limo, saying goodbye to his fellow competitors and the dough for a shot at love.

But when the cameras stopped rolling, Ames and Jackie only dated for “a couple of weeks,” before he dumped her.

Truth be told, the extent of my knowledge of this show pretty much amounts to what’s in that block quote. Oh, and also the line from this story that says after the show the two went on a “remedial wine country tour” in Napa, which might be the single whitepeopliest thing I’ve ever read. But really, that’s it. So in the interest of providing you a more complete take on this story, I reached out to my good Internet buddy (and “Bachelor Pad” viewer) Zoo With Roy, proprietor of I Want to Go to the Zoo with Roy Halladay, the world’s foremost bolg about wanting to go to the zoo with Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay.

His take on the Ames/Jackie split after the jump.

Speaketh ZWR:

They broke up already? How can it be, Ames? Sadly, I think we all know the answer to that. Since falling in love with Ames during The Bachelorette (which I totally do not enjoy and get forced into watching by my wife and I guess I could go into the basement and watch sports but it would be mean to leave her all alone upstairs so I guess I just have to suffer through that stupid show what a great guy I am!) this past season, and as someone who feels an incessant need to compare real life (using the term loosely, here) people to those of fiction, I’ve constantly been coming back to the assertion that the closest thing to Ames I’ve ever seen is Arrested Development’s Buster Bluth. Think about it: awful clothes, could very well be mentally-handicapped, numerous graduate degrees, comes from privilege, etc. Yes, I can totally see Ames taking a half day from Army.

In the EW story, it notes that Ames and Jackie went on a remedial wine tour in Napa upon leaving Bachelor Pad. Makes sense. Makes total sense. Guy’s a New York investment banker but can totally take off to film two television shows … and then go on a vineyard jaunt in his Vineyard Vines. He’s from another world. It’s what makes him utterly delicious and adorable, but likely also the reason he’ll never be able to sustain common human relations. I don’t think he’ll notice. I don’t think we’ll care. And I sure as sh*t hope he’s The Bachelor!

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