You did it! You survived the summer TV season, hopefully picking up a few new favorites along the way that hopefully staved off the aching absence of favorites like Empire, The Walking Dead, and whatever show lights the dark caverns of your soul. Your prize? The return of many of your favorite shows, some old friends in new projects (Bruce Campbell, The Muppets, John Stamos’ hair), and new shows that you may find yourself missing next summer.
Just to be clear, though, there is a lot of television that is going to come pouring into your life over the next three months. Too much? Never. But to get you ready, we’ve compiled this handy guide to the fall 2015 TV season with a few highlighted shows that we think/know you’re going to want to know a little bit more about. So dig in.
Wednesday, September 9
You’re The Worst – FXX, 10:30 p.m.
This FXX comedy came out of nowhere last season, subverting all the usual rom-com tropes in a fresh and hilarious way. Sure, these characters have the morals of pirates and all the charm of a dumpster fire, but viewers are rooting for them anyway because they are uniquely human. Season two will surely continue to peel back the veneer to lay bare the inherent grossness of relationships, but we wouldn’t want it any other way.
The League – FXX, 10 p.m.
Thursday, September 10
Longmire – Netflix
Friday, September 11
For Better or Worse – OWN, 9 p.m.
Z Nation – Syfy, 10:00 p.m.
Continuum – Syfy, 11:00 p.m.
Saturday, September 12
Ferrell Takes the Field – HBO, 10 p.m.
Sunday, September 13
Project Greenlight – HBO, 10 p.m.
Doll & Em – HBO, 11 p.m.
Monday, September 14
Dancing with the Stars – ABC, 8:00 p.m.
Tuesday, September 15
The Mindy Project – Hulu
Even though the ups and downs have, at times, been a little frustrating, it would have simply been too cruel to see Danny and Mindy’s relationship end on a cliffhanger had Fox’s decision to cancel the show stuck. Thankfully, Hulu picked the show up and now we’re going to get to see more from one of television’s best-written comedies and strongest ensembles.
The Bastard Executioner – FX, 10 p.m.
Kurt Sutter’s follow-up to Sons of Anarchy covers familiar themes — loyalty, family, and vengeance — but it’s wrapped in a different package and set in medieval times. Set in the aftermath of the Madog ap Llywelyn Welsh rebellion, newcomer Lee Jones plays the title character, who comes out of retirement and takes up as an executioner in order to exact revenge. Katey Sagal (Sons of Anarchy) and Stephen Moyer (True Blood) also star.
Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris – NBC, 10 p.m.
Wednesday, September 16
South Park – Comedy Central, 10 p.m,.
Moonbeam City – Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.
Friday, September 18
SpongeBob SquarePants – Nickelodeon, 7:30 p.m.
Saturday, September 19
Doctor Who – BBC America, 9 p.m.
Peter Capaldi’s curmudgeonly turn as the 12th doctor is back for the second time in Nu-Who’s ninth series. Despite his doctor’s more combative disposition, however, he’ll never have the chance to utter his excellent “f*ckity bye” insult made famous by In the Loop. That’s okay, because Jenna Coleman’s Clara Oswald probably wouldn’t let him say it anyways.
Monday, September 21
The Big Bang Theory – CBS, 8 p.m.
The show that everyone watches, but which no one will admit to liking returns for its ninth season with Penny and Leonard about to get married, and Sheldon about to learn what it’s like to live in the absence of Not-Blossom’s love. Also, there’s going to be at least one episode that focuses on the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, so that’ll surely be popular and also reviled.
Gotham – Fox, 8 p.m.
The Voice – NBC, 8 p.m.
Life In Pieces – CBS, 8:30 p.m.
Minority Report – Fox, 9 p.m.
Scorpion – CBS, 9 p.m.
Castle – ABC, 10 p.m.
NCIS: Los Angeles – CBS, 10 p.m.
Blindspot – NBC, 10 p.m.
Tuesday, September 22
The Muppets – ABC, 8 p.m.
The idea of “putting on a show” is as tied to the Muppets as foam eyeballs and feeling awkward about that whole Gonzo/chickens thing, but ABC is putting a slightly new twist on things by focusing a bit more on the Muppets private lives in a mock documentary style. What does that mean? Potentially more Gonzo/Chicken weirdness and, hopefully, a few Jim Halpert-esque Beaker eye rolls.
Scream Queens – Fox, 8 p.m.
One of two new projects Ryan Murphy currently has in the works (the other being that highly anticipated O.J. Simpson murder trial television show), Scream Queens is a horror-comedy anthology series that, like American Horror Story, will shake things up each year. For its freshman season, a masked devil terrorizes a sorority starring big millennial names such as Lea Michele, Abigail Breslin, Nick Jonas, Ariana Grande, and head sorority b*tch Emma Roberts. Ridiculousness promises to abound.
NCIS – CBS, 8 p.m.
Fresh Off the Boat – ABC, 8:30 p.m.
NCIS: New Orleans – CBS, 9 p.m.
Limitless – CBS, 10 p.m.
Wednesday, September 23
Empire – Fox, 9 p.m.
Last spring’s juggernaut returns as the Lyon family breaks apart, and viciously wars for control of Luscious’ dynasty all while the patriarch fails to wait silently while sitting in prison. More OMG moments, more earworm chart toppers, more Cookie (which means more Cookie fabulousity), and a ton of guest stars are sure to tag along for the ride.
Rosewood – Fox, 8 p.m.
The Mysteries of Laura – NBC, 8 p.m.
The Middle – ABC, 8 p.m.
Survivor – CBS, 8 p.m.
The Goldbergs – ABC, 8:30 p.m.
Modern Family – ABC, 9 p.m.
Law & Order: SVU – NBC, 9 p.m.
black-ish – ABC, 9:30 p.m.
Nashville – ABC, 10 p.m.
Trip Tank – Comedy Central, 11 p.m.
Thursday, September 24
Heroes Reborn – NBC, 8 p.m.
Can Tim Kring recapture the magic of the first season of Heroes with this new miniseries? NBC obviously hopes so. Few hit shows have crashed and burned as spectacularly as Heroes, what with each episode of the second season feeling like an eternity, but everyone loves a second chance. Heroes Reborn welcomes back the Man with the Horn-Rimmed Glasses, Matt Parkman, Hiro Nakamura, The Haitian, and Mohinder Suresh, and introduces us to a cast of new Heroes who must learn to use their powers to… save the world, obviously. Whether or not they need to save a cheerleader is yet unknown, but they will have to look over their shoulders for government agents and vigilantes like Joanne and Luke (Chuck’s Zachary Levi, who may or may not be a long lost Property Brother).
The Blacklist – NBC, 9 p.m.
Raymond Reddington and Lizzie are back and holy crap did things get crazy at the end of the second season! Elizabeth Keen finally remembered everything about her past, and all it took was killing the Attorney General of the United States (but he was a total dick for making Harold Cooper think he was dying). Now she’s on the run with her guardian angel (or devil?), and the man who is now in charge of hunting them and bringing them to justice is her friend and FBI colleague, Donald Ressler. Will Tom Keen also return to make Lizzie’s life more complicated and get a little freaky now and then? Well, yeah. Ryan Eggold is still signed on for this season.
Grey’s Anatomy – ABC, 8 p.m.
Scandal – ABC, 9 p.m.
The Player – NBC, 9 p.m.
How to Get Away with Murder – ABC, 10 p.m.
Friday, September 25
Last Man Standing – ABC, 8 p.m.
The Amazing Race – CBS, 8 p.m.
Shark Tank – ABC, 9 p.m.
Hawaii Five-0 – CBS, 9 p.m.
Blue Bloods – CBS, 10 p.m.
Saturday, September 26
Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy – Disney XD, 9:30 p.m.
Sunday, September 27
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Fox, 8:30 p.m.
The end of last season provided a shake-up for the officers of Brooklyn’s finest precinct. Andre Braugher’s Captain Holt is off to tackle his “promotion” in public relations, taking Chelsea Peretti’s Gina along for the ride. That means a new captain (played by lunatic Bill Hader in the season premiere) will arrive, and the show will expand outside the confines of the Nine-Nine. Should be fun for a great show.
The Last Man on Earth – Fox, 9:30 p.m.
Will Forte’s Fox comedy had a strong opening that sort of took a dividing path for critics as the season progressed, but it ended with one heck of a twist at the end. No spoilers here, but here’s hoping that Phil continues to be awful, we find out a bit more about his brother, and that some of the fun from the start of the season returns.
Bob’s Burgers – Fox, 7:30 p.m.
The Simpsons – Fox, 8 p.m.
Once Upon a Time – ABC, 8 p.m.
Family Guy – Fox, 9 p.m.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Finale Special – CBS, 9 p.m.
Blood And Oil – ABC, 9 p.m.
Quantico – ABC, 10 p.m.
Monday, September 28
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah – Comedy Central, 11:00 p.m.
How do you improve upon the work done by Jon Stewart? How do you introduce The Daily Show to a younger audience without scaring off the people who have tuned in and trusted this very consistent product for more than 15 years? Incoming host Trevor Noah smartly kept a lot of familiar faces around, but time will tell if he can pull off the hardest late night transition since Carson gave way to Leno.
Tuesday, September 29
Grandfathered – Fox, 8 p.m.
The beautifully coiffed John Stamos will pull double duty this season. He reprises his role as Uncle Jesse in Netflix’s Fuller House, and he’ll play the lead in Fox’s Grandfathered. As the title suggests, 52-year-old Stamos plays a grandfather, but not just any grandpappy. His lifelong bachelor character finds out — all at once — that he’s the father of an adult and the grandfather of a newborn baby. Naturally, his playboy lifestyle must adjust in the wake of this newfound information, and chaos ensues. Have mercy.
The Grinder – Fox, 8:30 p.m.
The Grinder stars Rob Lowe as a TV lawyer who moves back home to take over his family’s law firm after his popular series is canceled; butting heads with his younger brother played by Fred Savage. For Savage, this marks his return to acting after nearly a decade behind the cameras directing some of your favorite television comedies. Being that Savage knows a thing or two about playing a frustrated younger brother, this seems like a natural fit.
Best Time Ever with Neil Patrick Harris (regular timeslot) – NBC, 8 p.m.
Scream Queens (regular timeslot) – Fox, 9 p.m.
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. – ABC, 9 p.m.
Beyond The Tank – ABC, 10 p.m.
Wednesday, September 30
Criminal Minds – CBS, 9 p.m.
Chicago P.D. – NBC, 10 p.m.
Code Black – CBS, 10 p.m.
Thursday, October 1
Bones – Fox, 8 p.m.
Sleepy Hollow – Fox, 9 p.m.
Benders – IFC, 10 p.m.
Friday, October 2
Dr. Ken – ABC, 8:30 p.m.
Saturday, October 3
The Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 Story – Lifetime, 8:30 p.m.
Saturday Night Live – NBC, 11:30 p.m.
Sunday, October 4
Homeland – Showtime, 9 p.m.
For the second time in as many seasons, Homeland is rebooting itself. Last year traded boring Brody for exciting espionage, with thrilling success. Season five, which covers topical subjects like Edward Snowden and ISIS, will take place two years after the (subpar) finale. Carrie has left her position with the CIA for a cushy new gig working for a security firm in Berlin; as long as it’s ghost-free, it’ll be good.
The Leftovers – HBO, 9 p.m.
The Damon Lindelof series resets in season two, as the main cast moves to a small Texas town that somehow avoided losing anyone to the departure. There, Kevin Garvey, Jr. (Justin Theroux) and Nora Durst (Carrie Coon) hope for a fresh start with a new baby, while Amy Brenneman’s Laurie Garvey reunites with her son Chris Zylka and tries to pick up the pieces after last season’s Memorial Day initiative by the Guilty Remnant. Christopher Eccleston and Liv Tyler return, along with new cast members Kevin Carroll and Regina King (Southland).
Madam Secretary – CBS, 8 p.m.
The Good Wife – CBS, 9 p.m.
CSI: Cyber – CBS, 10 p.m.
The Affair – Showtime, 10 p.m.
Tuesday, October 6
iZombie – The CW, 9 p.m.
Prepare for more brain-eating, more personality shifts, and more of the one unique zombie show on television. Of course it’s on The CW, joining with its cadre of programming that seems to be pleasing audiences, mass and niche alike. Essentially, it’s like Psych, but with zombies. The creators want to take the show wider than Seattle, and we can’t get enough of Rose McIver as Liv. Hopefully the second season keeps it up.
The Flash – The CW, 8 p.m.
Finding Carter – MTV, 9 p.m.
Wednesday, October 7
American Horror Story: Hotel – FX, 10 p.m.
American Horror Story returns this year set in a creepy hotel with Lady Gaga replacing Jessica Lange as Ryan Murphy’s muse. This change will not only up the freakiness factor (Gaga herself plays a vampiress of sorts who feeds on humans after having sex with them), but also might mean that we’ll be seeing a lot more musical numbers, as well (meh!). Three words, though: Drillbit Dildo Demon.
Arrow – The CW, 8 p.m.
Supernatural – The CW, 9 p.m.
Thursday, October 8
The Vampire Diaries – The CW, 8 p.m.
The Originals – The CW, 9 p.m.
Haven – Syfy, 10 p.m.
Billy On The Street – TruTV, 10:30 p.m.
Friday, October 9
Red Oaks – Amazon
Undateable – NBC, 8 p.m.
Reign – The CW, 8 p.m.
America’s Next Top Model – The CW, 9 p.m.
Saturday, October 10
The Unauthorized Melrose Place Story – Lifetime, 8 p.m.
The Last Kingdom – BBC America, 10 p.m.
Sunday, October 11
The Walking Dead – AMC, 9 p.m.
When The Walking Dead returns for the sixth season, newly returned Morgan (Lennie James) upsets the balance in Alexandria, the citizens of which will have to question whether Rick is the right leader for a more civilized, peaceful community. Meanwhile, the Wolves are threatening to create chaos within Alexandria, while a pivotal character from the comic-book series waits in the wings.
America’s Funniest Home Video – ABC, 7 p.m.
Talking Dead – AMC, 10:30 p.m.
Monday, October 12
Fargo – FX, 10 p.m.
Fargo season two has about half the hype of #TrueDetectiveSeason2, but it’s likely to be at least twice as good. Uproxx’s favorite show of 2014 has replaced Martin Freeman, Billy Bob Thornton, and Allison Tolman with Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Plemons, and Ted Danson, with guest appearances from Nick Offerman and Bruce Campbell as Ronald Reagan. The action takes place in 1979 in South Dakota and Minnesota, which is the true glory of Fargo; it makes you care about South Dakota and Minnesota.
Tuesday, October 13
Manhattan – WGN America, 9 p.m.
Manhattan premiered on WGN America last year to a consistent barrage of rave reviews. The series follows the historical events leading up to the detonation of America’s first atomic bomb. With a stellar cast led by the ever engaging John Benjamin Hickey, the historically inspired show excels in its exploration of how political secrecy and the then unknown dangers of nuclear weaponry effects the lives of the men and women involved with the Manhattan Project.
Chicago Fire – NBC, 10 p.m.
Wednesday, October 14
Kingdom – DirecTV, 9 p.m.
Thursday, October 15
Nathan For You – Comedy Central, 10 p.m.
After last season’s “Dumb Starbucks” stunt, your guess is as good as ours as to how Nathan Fielder will manage to outdo himself when Nathan For You returns in October. Being that Fielder announced the date of the third season by oversharing about his possibly fake Hemorrhoid surgery, we can probably expect more of the same irreverent and absurd humor we’ve all come to know and love.
Friday, October 16
The Knick – Cinemax, 10 p.m.
Steven Soderbergh jumped to the small-screen last year with the historical drama The Knick. Inspired by New York’s Knickerbocker Hospital, the series stars Clive Owen as the brilliant drug-addicted surgeon Dr. John W. Thackery. Upon its premiere, the show stood out with its depiction of the archaic medical practices commonly performed in the early 1900s. The Cinemax series took home a Peabody Award in 2014, making it the first accolade of its kind for the network.
Truth Be Told – NBC, 8:30 p.m.
Gold Rush – Discovery, 9 p.m.
Satisfaction – USA, 10 p.m.
Monday, October 19
Jane the Virgin – The CW, 9 p.m.
Jane the Virgin never had a “jump the shark” episode. That’s impressive when you consider there were 22 of them, and the writers typically burned through more plots in 40 minutes than most shows do all season. But a delightful mix of drama, comedy, and fantastic acting (led by Gina Rodriguez), grounded the series and made it one of last year’s best. Can it repeat the trick? Believe in Jane as much as Rogelio believes in himself.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – The CW, 8 p.m.
Friday, October 23
Hemlock Grove – Netflix
Saturday, October 24
Da Vinci’s Demons – Starz, 8 p.m.
Monday, October 26
Supergirl – CBS, 8:30 p.m.
Greg Berlanti’s DC Comics television empire expands yet again. Sure, it won’t be over at the mega-producer’s comfortable home base at The CW, but that’s okay. Putting a comic book property up at one of the big three networks is no small feat, and with the likes of Melissa Benoist and Calista Flockhart leading the pack, Kara Zor-El’s small screen debut is sure to make waves.
Tuesday, October 27
Wicked City – ABC, 10 p.m.
Friday, October 30
Grimm – NBC, 9 p.m.
Saturday, October 31
Ash vs. Evil Dead – Starz, 9 p.m.
The charm of the original Evil Dead series was Sam Raimi’s ability to blend equal doses of humor and horror into a delightful Bloody Mary that tickled the right taste buds. Judging from the previews of Ash vs. Evil Dead, that combination is intact, with an added caveat of an aging hero’s quest to reinvigorate his demon-killing prowess. In a just world, Bruce Campbell would have been a matinee idol. With TV becoming an equal of cinema, it’s better late than never.
Sunday, November 1
The Librarians – TNT, 8 p.m.
Monday, November 2
Legends – TNT, 10 p.m.
Thursday, November 5
The Big Bang Theory (regular time slot) – CBS, 8 p.m.
Life In Pieces (regular time slot) – CBS, 8:30 p.m.
Mom – CBS, 9 p.m.
Angel From Hell – CBS, 9:30 p.m.
Elementary – CBS, 10 p.m.
Friday, November 6
Master of None – Netflix
Masterchef Junior – Fox, 8 p.m.
Sunday, November 8
Flesh And Bone – Starz
Agent X – TNT, 9 p.m.
Tuesday, November 10
Chrisley Knows Best – USA, 10 p.m.
Donny!! – USA, 10:30 p.m.
Sunday, November 15
Into the Badlands – AMC, 10 p.m.
Tuesday, November 17
Chicago Med – NBC, 9 p.m.
Friday, November 20
The Man In The High Castle – Amazon
Man in the High Castle became the most talked about series in Amazon’s pilot season last January. Based on Philip K. Dick’s popular science fiction novel, the series — created by Frank Spotnitz (The X-Files) — follows the tale of an alternate reality where a post WWII America is co-ruled by Germany and Japan. It’s some kooky stuff that definitely makes you think, even if the original subject matter was written all the way back in 1962.
Saturday, November 21
Jim Henson’s Turkey Hollow – Lifetime, 8 p.m.
Thursday, December 3
The Wiz Live! – NBC, 8 p.m.
Monday, December 14
Childhood’s End – Syfy, 8 p.m.
The Expanse – Syfy, 10 p.m.
Danger Guerrero, Jason Tabrys, Josh Kurp, Stacey Ritzen, Dustin Rowles, Dariel Figueroa, Ashley Burns, Aaron Pruner, and Alyssa Fikse all contributed to this guide.