FXX’s New Commercial For ‘The Simpsons’ Marathon Is One Million Percent Accurate

FXX’s epic and historic marathon for The Simpsons will begin on August 21, and fans of the iconic animated series will be able to watch all 552 episodes of the show’s 25 seasons like they’ve never watched them before. The marathon, which is the longest of its kind in TV history, will also feature The Simpsons Movie after the show’s 400th episode, just as it was released in theaters back in 2007. Granted, nobody on Earth has the ability to watch this two-week marathon as it happens, because, very simply put, anyone who tries to stay awake for a few days will die. It has happened during several World Cup and other soccer tournaments and it will happen with The Simpsons, too, so DO NOT try it.

Naturally, I expect for a few dozen bloggers to attempt it, some possibly even lying and claiming they did it, but the one thing we can count on is global productivity slowing to a pace that can be rivaled only by Patty and Selma at the DMV. FXX is banking on that, as the network proved in this new and entirely accurate commercial for just how detrimental to society this marathon might be. God speed, fellow Stonecutters.