‘Game Of Thrones’ Death Watch: Preparing For Doom With Wine And Milk

Editor-at-Large
04.22.19

HBO

The Game of Thrones Death Watch is a weekly roundup of who died and who looks like they might be headed for death, written by me, a person who has not read the books and will go a long, long way to make a very stupid joke. This is what we’re doing here. This is not science. Please do not yell at me.

Season 8, Episode 2 – “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”

WHO DIED THIS WEEK?

HBO

No one

No one died this week, which would normally be seen as a good thing. Where it gets tricky is the feeling of doom hanging over everyone and everything with an army of Walkers marching toward Winterfell. That seems bad.

If we want to be technical, though, or at least build out this section of the post a little, we did at least hear about a death. A giant’s death. From Tormund. Who claims to have killed a giant at age 10 and then crawled into bed with the giant’s wife and grew strong by drinking giant’s milk straight from her teat. What a legend. How long could you listen to Tormund tell stories like this? An hour? Five hours? Twenty years? It’s shameful that HBO is out here developing multiple Game of Thrones spinoffs and prequels and not one person has promised me a Better Call Saul-style Tormund prequel. I’d be furious if I could think about anything other than these two screencaps.

HBO

HBO

Also dying this week, again, if we’re willing to stretch the definition a bit, was Jon’s pride, in absentia, when Sansa asked Daenerys who the other person she loved and trusted was and Daenerys replied “Someone taller.” Poor Jon. Poor dumb, tiny Jon, a secret Targaryen king and a master swordsman who inspires the loyalty of multiple warring factions and also just gets roasted to hell by his girlfriend and sister. Brutal.

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