Samwell Is Trying To Cure Jorah’s Greyscale On ‘Game Of Thrones,’ And Now You Can, Too!

You thought a disgustingly audible poop montage would be the most revolting scene on Game of Thrones this season? Nope! In the next episode, “Stormborn,” Samwell Tarly performed a very painful and very forbidden procedure involving a scalpel to peel off pieces of Jorah Mormont’s greyscale-infected skin, and a mouthguard to keep him quiet. It’s a potential cure so obvious that even you, a non-maester, could do it. No, really.

Over at “Making Game of Thrones,” the official behind-the-scenes website for HBO’s record-breaking hit, the production team highlighted the letters and books in Sunday’s episode, including Tyrion’s letter to Jon Snow and “the book Sam read to learn how to try the tricky (and forbidden) surgery.”

Kids, be sure to try this at home. Without parental supervision.

Or: dragonglass?

Anyway, it’s hard to read everything the pages say, but I can make out, “Exposed skin to be cleaned and soaked in a salve made from the rosin of pine, the green bark of elder twigs, beeswax, and oyl from the olive,” and, “Gently pull back the infected area… Apply the ointment directly. Be sure to remove all hard greyscale.” With all due respect to the Citadel, that seems easy?

What are those old farts doing all day? That’s right: farting and pooping.

(Via Making Game of Thrones)