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George Costanza Lines That Can Help You Justify Your Terrible Behavior

I have a theory that there’s a little George Costanza in all of us. Especially when it comes to overthinking everything and making terrible decisions. But I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you, since that could mean living your life draped in velvet, achieving the trifecta, and pretending to be an architect and marine biologist — and in some cases acting as an actual marine biologist! So onward with all of the George Costanza panic lines from Seinfeld… they’re sure to help you justify all of your bad decisions..

“A George divided against itself cannot stand.”

“Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.”

“I’m much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs.”

“I’m a great quitter. It’s one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter. My grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up.”

“If relationship George walks through this door, he will kill independent George!”

“I invented ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Nobody tells me it’s them, not me. If it’s anybody, it’s me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.”


“Like I don’t know that I’m pathetic.”

“I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.”

“My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”

“Ya know, we’re living in a society!”

“I was in the pool! I was in the pool!”

“For I am costanza, Lord of the idiots”

“So I started to walk into the water. I won’t lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don’t know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jerry at that moment I was a marine biologist!

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