Guess Which Late Night Host Bought A Painting Of Bea Arthur Naked For $1.9 Million

Earlier this month, a 1991 painting of The Golden Girls star Bea Arthur, by artist John Currin, sold for $1.9 million at an auction. Why so much money, when she’s not even depicted wearing her Mos Eisley Cantina wardrobe from The Star Wars Holiday Special? Because Arthur’s wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all. At first, the identity of the Mona Maude bidder was unknown, but yesterday, word broke that a certain late night host dropped nearly $2 million for something I see every night in my dreams for free. But which one was it?

He’s a he, not a she, which stills leaves everyone.

He’s white, which still leaves everyone.

He’s not Carson Daly, which still leaves all the good ones and Jay Leno.

He’s on a network show, which still leaves everyone except Daly, Stewart, and Colbert.

His name begins with a J, which still leaves everyone except Daly, Stewart, Colbert, Conan, Craig, and Dave.

Who’s left? Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon. Maybe this block quote will help.

On Friday, the comedian confirmed on Twitter that he was the person who spent $1.9 million on a 1991 nude portrait of Arthur by artist John Currin, and that he has given the painting to fellow comedian Jeff Ross.

[REDACTED] apparently bought the painting at a Christie’s auction in New York earlier this month. The auction of postwar and contemporary art brought it a record total of $495 million.

Ross…tweeted a picture of himself on Friday holding the Currin painting: “Biggest surprise of my life. Thank you [REDACTED] – the most generous guy in the world!” (Via)

Considering Jay Leno is more likely to star in Collision Course 2 than be friends with Jeffrey Ross, it ain’t him. As for Fallon, rumor has it he and Questlove are bigger Rue McClanahan fans, meaning Jimmy Kimmel bought THE nude painting of Bea Arthur and gave it to Jeffrey Ross, which is definitely a sentence I thought I’d write someday. It’s a shame Bea passed away in 2009 — she would have loved Obesity Epidemic.

UPDATE: nvm.

Talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel was at the center of a coverup Friday after denying he bought a $1.9 million topless painting of Bea Arthur for a comedian pal.

Funnyman Jeffrey Ross seemingly revealed the mystery buyer of the artwork when he tweeted that Kimmel splurged on the painting and gave it to him as a gift.

“Contrary to ‘news’ reports, I didn’t buy the Bea Arthur painting — not even for @realjeffreyross — but I did buy the Mona Lisa Lampanelli,” tweeted Kimmel, referring to comedian Lisa Lampanelli. (Via)

Looking at you, Arsenio.

(Via LA Times)