Important Story Of The Day: Jenny McCarthy Had Sex With A Tree While High On Ecstasy

In what reads like crappy fan fiction from a Singled Out fan in the 1990s, vaccine-hater, Vaseline-lover Jenny McCarthy once took too much ecstasy, and proceeded to “rub [her] head and boobs all over” a tree. What a shame; that tree was one day away from retirement. His pension package was copies of Dirty Love to explode.

The 40-year-old [former Playboy] model — who has previously dated Jim Carrey — once took too much of the party drug ecstasy, and found herself pressed up against a tree trying to have intercourse with it after becoming unsteady on her feet.

She said: “I found myself holding a tree to brace myself. The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping!” (Via)

Fittingly, former Playboy models have their own veteran’s day, in which all the bunnies-turned-made for TV sequel stars reunite and tell stories about the past. McCarthy loves to bring out that ol’ chestnut (ugh), but it’s still less embarrassing than what Shannon Tweed once had sex with: Gene Simmons. *shudder*

(Via AZ Central)

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