On Tuesday, arguably the best-worst thing since November 8, 2016 happened, when excerpts were released from Stormy Daniels’ upcoming tell-all book, Full Disclosure, that described the penis of President Donald Trump. In graphic detail, Daniels wrote of the presidential genitalia, “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool … I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f*cked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”
For anyone in the business of covering the day-to-day antics of Trump, this news was the equivalent of throwing chum to the sharks, and naturally late night hosts were no exception. Above, Jimmy Kimmel joked that Daniels’ “describes Trump’s penis as smaller than average, but admitted she was impressed it had his name embossed in gold on it.”
“And just like that I will never eat a mushroom or eat a video game ever again,” he said, after reading the excerpt. He was then joined by Tracy Morgan doing a wildly improvisational impression of Trump, in full body orange paint.
Meanwhile, Seth Meyers could barely contain his giddy revulsion, quipping, “So for once, let’s not take A Closer Look,” of his trademark breakdown segments. “That’s a joke about the news,” he deadpanned. “You might be saying, how dare you make a joke about a penis looking like a video game character, but that’s the [bleeping] news right now.”
“My head’s not in the gutter,” he continued,” it’s in the news, which is in the gutter.”