John Oliver Celebrates Back-To-School Season By Laying Into Student Loans And For-Profit Colleges

Immaculately landscaped college campuses around the country are buzzing with the sounds of teenagers shuffling toward classrooms after a full night of binge-drinking in wildly unsanitary conditions (“The ball hit the floor. Dip it in that gross lukewarm water before throwing it into someone’s beer”), which means two things:

  • Back to school season is upon us.
  • The timing is perfect for John Oliver, fresh off a two week hiatus, to lay into the student loan industry and predatory for-profit colleges.

And lay into them he does, devoting his latest extended chunk to all the ways our nation’s education-seeking youth has been screwed, is being screwed, and will continue to be screwed. (He also manages to work in the audiotape of LBJ telling the Haggar Clothing Company that he needs more room in his pants due to discomfort in his balls and “bunghole.” This will never not be funny.) The majority of the segment focuses on for-profit colleges, for reasons that make perfect sense once he gets going, but this was probably my favorite line of the whole bit:

“Student debt is like HPV. If you go to college, you’re almost certainly going to get it. And if you do, it will follow you for the rest of your life.”

So have fun at school, kids!

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