Kyle Mooney is no stranger to fake autobiographical videos where he fake-spars with people. He even once faux-fought with this week’s musical guest, Kanye West. For the Saturday Night Live season premiere, he was at it again, this time sparring with fellow cast member Peter Davidson, jealous of the way he’s taken off.
And so in the video Mooney goes a bit Single White Female. Sick of being ignored, even by Lorne Michael himself, he dyes his hair blonde. He starts using words like “lit” and “bro.” He even gets his own “hot celebrity girlfriend,” no less than Wendy Williams, to compete with Davidson’s real life fiancée Ariana Grande. And when Davidson confronts Mooney, asking him if he knows he has mental problems, Mooney produces a medicine bottle, shakes it, and says, “Me too!”
It all climaxes with a Roman era sword fight which finds host Adam Driver shot with an arrow in the leg. But the beef can’t last for long. The two make up, because who can stay mad at Pete Davidson, even if he is kind of like Jimmy Fallon in the way that he almost always just seems to be himself.
If it seemed like Mooney will never learn his lesson and just be content with his nerdy self, then don’t worry: As we learn at the end, when he’s suddenly coughing up blood, he’s going to die later anyway.