Colbert Gets Fired Up About Pizzagate And Blasts Those Responsible: ‘Grow The F*ck Up’

Features Writer
12.08.16 8 Comments

Fake news is truly becoming an epidemic, with Hillary Clinton herself explaining the “real world consequences.” One of the gravest of these consequences is the recent shooter who was looking to self-investigate the conspiracy “Pizzagate,” which posited that Clinton and her campaign manager, John Podesta, were running a child sex ring out of the Washing DC pizzeria, Comet. The North Carolina man open fired on patrons of the restaurant, and while luckily no one was harmed, this deeply misguided vigilante action is a troubling look at the aftermath of fake news. This accusation could not have been more untrue, but it was a lie circulated by many, including Michael Flynn, Donald Trump’s pick for national security advisor.

On Thursday’s episode of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Stephen Colbert lets loose some of the righteous anger that many have missed since The Colbert Report, calling the Pizzagate conspiracy what it really is: bullsh*t.

“A lot of uninformed, gullible people fell for the Clinton-Podesta sex ring theory. People like Trump’s pick for national security advisor, Michael Flynn, who tweeted out a link to the story a week before Election Day that began with the words, ‘U decide.’ OK, then I decide that a guy who spreads this bullshit shouldn’t be in charge of national security.”

Colbert goes on to demolish the conspiracy theories of blow-hards like Alex Jones from Info Wars and the rest of the alt-right, who clearly misunderstand how late night television and interviews work (honestly, “Da Vinci chodes” is a truly inspired insult). While the whole clip is Colbert in top form, he really bring it home with the segment’s closer:

“Here’s what these conspiracy theorists don’t get: There’s a difference between a conspiracy and an agreement. A conspiracy is what villains do. An agreement is what adults do. Look around the country. Wouldn’t you agree we need some more adults? So WikiLeaks, Alex Jones, and the subreddit sub-geniuses—and I mean this in the nicest way possible: grow the f*ck up.”

Well said, sir.

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