Laurie Kilmartin is a comic and writer probably best known for being a finalist on the seventh season of Last Comic Standing, in addition to her appearances on various late night talk shows. She is also a writer for Conan and the author of Shitty Mom, which was a New York Times bestseller. Her acclaimed 2016 standup special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad, will be available for purchase as an album on June 9. Laurie was nice enough to take a few minutes to participate in our twenty questions questionnaire recently.
1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?
At a comedy club, I order water. At a regular bar, I order the last drink I saw a character order on TV. (I’m easily influenced.)
2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?
3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR or your streaming queue?
30 episodes of Tough Crowd w/ Colin Quinn, because the last time I had a DVR was 2004. It’s in a closet.
4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?
Crusty, crunchy 3-cheese mac-n-cheese.
5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?
Twitter: my list of political journalists.
Redfin: (Silicon Valley did a perfect “Redfin vacation” joke. Looking at places you can’t afford.)
Craiglist: looking for things I can afford.
6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?
“Home,” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I still love it!
7. If you could go back and give your 18-year-old self one piece of advice what would it be?
You are never going to get thinner, you will always be a size 12/14, no matter who you do. So stop trying and have fun.
8. What’s the last thing you Googled?
“Kathy Griffin behead”
9. Dogs or cats?
10. Best concert of your life was…?
B-52s. Fred really sounded like that.