‘Million Moms’ Get Bug Up Their Butt Over Something Silly. Again.

You may remember the “One Million Moms,” the crazy Christian fundamentalist wackjobs who spend their lives searching for things to get offended about, like Geico ads purportedly promoting bestiality, Ryan Murphy’s New Normal, walruses kissing in Skittles ads, the alleged gayness in Marvel comics, Archie comics, and of course, Ellen Degeneres.

Their latest overreaction comes in response to the above Kraft ad, on account of it featuring a mostly naked man. It’s not that they’re taking offense that’s funny; it’s the insane statement they wrote regarding the Kraft ad.

Let’s break it down.

Last week’s issue of People Magazine had the most disgusting ad on the inside front cover that we have ever seen Kraft produce. A full 2-page ad features a n*ked man lying on a picnic blanket with only a small portion of the blanket barely covering his g*nitals.

OK. First of all, you know they’re crazy-in-the-head conservatives because they feel the need to star out “naked” and genitals.

It is easy to see what the ad is really selling. A person has to look closely to see the item the company is marketing because the salad dressing bottle is so small next to the male model, picnic basket and other food items. There is also a small Kraft logo in the upper corners with the words “Silverware Optional – Let’s Get Zesty.” The website is listed in the bottom corner.

If the ad is not selling Kraft products, then it’s a really bad ad, and a complete waste of money. What do the Million Moms think the ad is selling? Naked men? If so, I’ll take one. I need someone to mow the yard.

Kraft has gone too far and will push away loyal, conservative customers with this new ad campaign. Christians will not be able to buy Kraft dressings or any of their products until they clean up their advertising. The consumers they are attempting to attract – women and mothers – are the very ones they are driving away. Who will want Kraft products in their fridge or pantry if this vulgarity is what they represent?

If there’s anything offensive about that ad, it’s the notion that one could eat Kraft products — specifically Kraft macaroni and cheese — would look like that. I mean, they don’t call them “butter worms “for nothing. A more accurate ad might look like this:

That’s young Ryan Seacrest, by the way.

One Million Moms cannot get over the gall of this company. It is unnecessary for Kraft to use s*x to sell salad dressing!

OH, so they DO know that the ad is selling: Salad dressing. Well, I guess the ad was effective, after all. Congratulations, Million Moms: You provide the best free advertising.