‘Succession’ Star Nicholas Braun Will Hit You With His Car, But Only In A ‘Sexy Way’

Some male celebrities become visibly awkward when asked about being an Internet Boyfriend (Ryan Gosling is a prime example of this), but not Nicholas Braun. He’s embraced his status as Twitter’s favorite tall, skinny white guy (Jonah from Veep is ranked #34,846 between me and the It Follows dude), and even encourages it.

“There’s been a bunch of people saying they want me to hit them with my car like in a sexy way or, like, stomp on their neck with my Crocs or slap them in the face,” the Emmy-nominated Succession star said in a video posted to his Instagram. “These kind of violent, sexy type things, but the car thing is really concerning, and I just wanted to say, I’m down, like, let’s figure it out ’cause I want to help.” I’m listening…

“For me, the only thing is just like I don’t want the car to get damaged that much and I don’t want a ton of blood on the car and things like that. If we can find a way to do it where you can just pop off the hood like really lightly and fly through the air and get all the stuff you need out of it and land not too badly… I’m just thinking about hospital bills and all that stuff, and I just don’t want to get into insurance problems. But whatever you need, I’m here to help.”

Much like ATN News, Cousin Greg is:


Getting hit by Braun’s car is child’s play, though. Cousin Greg, I want you to crumple me like a piece of paper into a ball and throw me in the trash and bring me out to the dumpster minutes before the garbage truck comes by, and then I’m brought to the dump and eventually end up on Trash Island where I decompose. That’s the “sexy way.”

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I had to address this head on

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