Reality TV Is to Blame for America’s Terrible Baby Names

Senior Pop Culture Editor
05.15.12 38 Comments

The Social Security Administration released their list of the most popular baby names in 2011 yesterday, and if it’s any indication of American culture, which it is, it means that we love our Kardashians and reality TV shows. Which we, SIGH, do. We also hate the name Brisa, for some reason.

[Kourtney] Kardashian, the reality TV star, gave birth to Mason in December 2009 following a heavily publicized pregnancy. In 2010, Mason jumped from No. 34 to No. 12. Last year, 19,396 baby boys were named Mason, an increase of nearly 4,600 [to #2), by far the biggest jump for any name.

The fastest rising name for girls: Briella, which jumped 394 spots, to No. 497. Briella Calafiore stars in “Jerseylicious,” a reality TV show about battling stylists at a beauty salon in Green Brook, N.J. She’s also in a spinoff called “Glam Fairy.” (Via)

Here are the following once-popular names I’d rather call my baby than Briella: Mabel, Bertha, Clarence, Mildred, Gladys, Poopy McGee (the 1890s were weird), Harold, and Adolf, a name I hope the Kardashians or shows that end with -Licious don’t ruin. I’ve got big plans for Adolf Kurp.

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