Last month, after the second Sharknado ravaged New York City with flaming sharks falling from the heavens and the tumbling disembodied head of our nation’s most iconic symbol of freedom, a group of fans started a petition to bring the next film in the franchise — which they have tentatively titled Fin-dependence Day — to Washington, D.C. It read it in part:
DC is the city on the hill, the bastion of freedom, and the home of monuments to our nation’s great leaders such as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Bryce Harper, and Ben Ali. DC is a city filled with history, majesty, and democracy. Most importantly, DC is a city that deserves to be pounded relentlessly by an inexplicable tornado filled with sharks.
Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask yourself what you can do to make sharks pummel our nation’s capital.
A reasonable request, in this reader’s opinion. And one that could end up being granted, as Showbiz411! reports that the third installment may indeed be heading to our nation’s capital. As cathartic as it might be to watch sharks descend jaws-first from the stratosphere through the rotunda of the Capitol and into, say, a hopelessly gridlocked budget debate on the House floor, if this film is indeed set in D.C., I have one demand and one demand only. Say it with me:
I don’t ask for much, people. Give me this.