The season finale of SNL went with a basic Donald Trump sketch for its cold open, even though he wasn’t even this week’s biggest monster. No, that would be a tie for the all-male Alabama politicians who voted for draconian abortion laws, which would call for a near-total ban. Instead, they saved it for Weekend Update, when Leslie Jones could tear every one of them a new one.
Jones began her rant while dressed à la The Handmaid’s Tale. “We’re all handmaids now, so my name is now Ofjost,” she told co-anchor Colin Jost, referencing the chilling way they rename women in Gilead. “But I don’t know how good a babymaker I’m gonna be, because my eggs are dusty as hell.”
Jones ditched the Handmaid’s Tale get-up to reveal a shirt with the word “Mine,” followed by an arrow pointing downwards.
“What made me so mad was seeing the 25 Alabama senators who voted for the abortion ban,” she railed, then showed a picture of them: all men. “This looks like the casting call for a Lipitor commercial. This looks like the mug shots of everyone arrested at a massage parlor.
“If any of them had lips, I’d tell them to kiss my entire a*s,” she added.
“You can’t control women, because I don’t know if y’all heard, but women are the same as humans,” Jones said. “Why do all of these weird-ass men care what we do with our bodies anyway? I don’t care about your 65-year-old droopy-a*s balls.”