The world has gone Pizza Rat crazy, and of course you can’t claim something to be truly viral if Stephen Colbert hasn’t given it his seal of approval. And last night on The Late Show, he did just that, saying “To us New Yorkers, it’s really not that big of a deal. Here, if a rat doesn’t bring you your slice in 30 minutes or less, it’s free.”
He compared Pizza Rat to other hungry vermin you might see around New York like the calzone pigeon and pasta possum. No mention though of the very real Milkshake Squirrel, who captured our hearts and a delicious chocolate shake from a garbage can.
Who knows, maybe this will become a new kind of New York City tourist attraction – people can come hang out near one of the many overflowing piles of trash around town and watch as adorable vermin covered in disease gorge on discarded fast food. Hey, sounds better than filming those off-brand Sesame Street characters fighting each other for the best spots in Times Square.
As a Canadian, I can’t help but feel my Northern brethren need to step up our viral animal game. Sure, we recently had dead raccoon, hot tub bear, and Ikea monkey. But how are we supposed to compete with fast food eating pests when our cities are so damn clean? It’s going to take a national effort to get past this issue and discover a new niche to call our own.
So I call on all Canadians to keep their eyes peeled and smartphone cameras ready for the next Vancouver heroin skunk, Labrador screech moose, or Tim Horton’s beaver.