TV

The ‘Succession’ Seven: Fly That Whirlybird

The Succession Seven is a weekly power ranking of people and things on television’s most power-obsessed show. The rankings are not scientific, not even a little, and could fluctuate wildly from week to week. It’s all very subjective. And it’s my list. So, there.

UNRANKED

Teddy Roosevelt’s valet — Is there a more perfect Succession moment than a slew of billionaires sitting around and toasting each other with a beloved family drink that someone literally stole from the wallet of a service worker? Yes, there is. We’ll get there.

Tom — Breaks my heart to leave Tom out of the rankings this week, if only for the “Jeepers fucking creepers” he dropped on Shiv after she blew the dinner with the Pierces — and her chances at taking over — into thousands of shimmering smithereens.

Rhea Jarrell — Slow week for Rhea and a busy week all around bump her out, although it was really quite fun that she claimed Sandy’s takeover bid was on the rocks because he has syphilis. I can’t decide if this is better as truth (brutal gossip, excellent oppo research) or pure slander (lol).

Connor — One day Connor will crack the listings proper. One day when he has a little more to do than drink port offscreen. Perhaps even next week. He’s such an underrated failson on this show and he deserves a moment. Ain’t this moment, though.

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