This Is Why You Don’t Propose Marriage on National TV, Doofus

Asking a woman to marry you on national television seems like it should be a low risk, big reward opportunity. I mean: What woman would turn you down in front of millions of people? At the very least, you’d expect that she’d say yes, even if she didn’t mean it, and change her mind while you’re standing at the altar, which is still less humiliating than being DENIED on national television. But that’s exactly what happened to a nice gentlemen who was STUPID enough to ask a question he didn’t know the answer to in front of a live studio audience millions of older women at home watching “Ellen.”

But wait? Why did they awkwardly cut away? The poor guy. He not only gets turned down in front of millions, but Ellen compounds his humiliation by ringing a bell and triggering a Pavlovian reaction in the audience, which starts madly clapping, oblivious to the guy right next to them picking up his broken heart like shattered glass. I’d feel for the guy if it weren’t so tremendously hilarious.

The real question is WHY? Why did she say no? Was it because he’s bald? Or is it that tacky sweater? Or is it BECAUSE HE ASKED HER ON “ELLEN”?

(Via Buzzfeed)