This Man Is Going Places

01.06.11 7 years ago 20 Comments

This is Chris Hamilton of Union Grove, Wisconsin (a little north of the Illinois border, near the famous Bong Recreation Area). He’s never been to New Jersey, but that didn’t stop him from getting a tattoo of the the state’s border with the word “SNOOKI” inside of it. MTV’s Clutch Blog interviewed this future captain of industry:

Clutch: So Chris, why in the world did you get Snooki’s name tattooed on your leg?

Chris: I started watching the first season of “Jersey Shore” and kept seeing Snooki bring home these piece of s*** guys. I knew I would be so much better for her and I just fell in love. She’s the cream of the crop, the absolute bee’s knees.

The cat’s meow! The elephant’s instep! The caterpillar’s spats! The drunk girl exposing her vagina on the dance floor!

Why do you love her so much?

She is very beautiful [keep in mind: Wisconsin – Ed.], she has a great personality, she loves to have fun and I am the same way. I love to have fun and enjoy life. She seems like she’s the life of the party too, and so am I.

What would you say if you had a chance to talk to Snooki?

I would tell her that her choice in men isn’t so good, that there are nice guys out there like me who would do anything for her. I’d tell her that even though I’m not Italian or from Jersey, I can still show up all those guys that she brought home from the club.

Not from Jersey, huh?

No, I’ve never even been to Jersey. I live in Wisconsin. I’m trying to go the Jersey Shore this summer though.

Did you consider going for more than her name, like, her face!?!

That’s actually my next step. I have a picture of her poolside holding a martini glass and I’m going to get it on the other side of my leg.

Ah, young love. Who can forget the first time they got a tattoo of an alcoholic reality star they’ve never met? It seems like just yesterday I got “DON’T HASSEL THE HOFF” inked in old English script across my stomach. Oh wait, that was yesterday. Man, ether’s a helluva drug.

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