A piss-poor response to the pandemic, a sinking economy, a country literally on fire, not to mention all the sexism and racism and allegations. And yet, there are still many people, millions of them, who will vote for Donald Trump this Election Day. Our nation’s greatest political mind, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, set out to investigate why.
During Tuesday’s episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Triumph, performed by Robert Smigel, hosted a focus group with Trump supporters. “One wonders if anything the president says or does could cost him their ‘herd mentality.’ So we brought these actual Trump supporters to this actual focus group research center, where this actual moderator showed them a series of actual fake Trump campaign ads,” he said.
Triumph, who spends much of the video above behind glass, cedes the spotlight to the seemingly real but obviously fake ads with the voice of the president provided by Our Cartoon President star Jeff Bergman. The focus group participants are pro-electrified monuments (“The second they touch them, boom, whoosh”) and pro-“best of three election” plan, and while they did have hesitations about replacing adults in the workplace with child labor, they were fine with it as long as it’s 12 year olds at the factory, not five year olds. There’s also a whole thing about “putting a person in the microwave” to cure COVID-19, and the group’s defense of Trump, that needs to be heard to be believed.
“The people have spoken, occasionally in coherent sentences,” Triumph said at the end of the segment after sipping a martini and guzzling a bottle of bleach. “And in the end, no matter whom you support, we can all agree, America is blessed with an informed electorate, and the future is brighter than ever… for me to poop on.” Amen.
