5. Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita
For their sartorial choices. In the comics, Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita look kind of bad ass, but on TV, they could be extras during a fight scene in the Mortal Kombat movie. Plus, their whole “you got a damn mouth on you” schtick reeks of rehearsal. Speaking of things that reek: Eugene’s unfortunate shorts-and-hair combo.
4. Tara Chambler’s Acting Coach
While walking along the tracks with Glenn, Tara very clearly says, “All I saw was my sister and my nephew.” Doesn’t Tara have a niece, or should I say, had a niece? That would be dumb-dumb Meghan, who was bit by a zombie then shot by the Governor. That’s what I originally thought, at least, then I went back and watched the scene a few more times, and it turns out, she actually said, “…sister in the field.” ENUNCIATE GIRL.
3. Maggie Greene
You’re tired, you’re depressed, and you almost fainted — what would you do? If your answer is, climb onto a ZOMBIE BUS that might hold your husband, then you’re Maggie Greene, and I love you. Though I don’t love your decisions. Maggie should know better than to put herself in woozy danger, unless she’s aware of The Walking Dead‘s “black people dying” meme, and she was helping a brother (and sister!) out?
2. Little Blonde Girl
/Little Blonde Girl keeps running, because she’s an idiot
//And keeps running
///She’s still running
////She runs until she finds an iPhone with Angry Birds
/////She runs again
Some say she’s still running to this day.
I’m trying to think of a better way of saying, “It was a bad decision by Judith to not die” but I can’t think of any other way to put it: it was a bad decision by Judith to not die. Now, I’m not usually pro-baby killing, and it’s not like I’d relish the opportunity to watch a zombie take a bite out of that Georgia peach (or be crushed by Lori), but babies on TV shows are DRAGS, and now viewers have an entire season of “baby cries, zombies come, baby cries again, more zombies come” to look forward to. That’s about as interesting to watch as it is fun to hear Judith scream. The Walking Dead also doesn’t have the benefit of the “she’s staying with her grandparents” excuse — every scene with Tyrese, et al is going to include Judith, because until she crawls away, probably to the DMV to legally change her last name, she’s not going anywhere.
Though I can’t wait for the inevitable “going on a Huggies run” episode.
Updated bad decision rankings:
3: CORAL Grimes
1: Michonne’s Zombies, Rick, Tara Chambler’s Acting Coach, Abraham, Eugene, Rosita, Maggie, Little Blonde Girl