Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday 11:30 p.m.) — The cast has surely been polishing their southern accents all week long in anticipation of Blake Shelton’s stint as host and musical guest. Last week Sia sang to a mime and this week Shelton is going to sing about ‘Murica. #CulturalDiversity
Constantine (NBC, Friday 8:00 p.m.) — Mark Margolis (aka Hector Salamanca from Breaking Bad) pops up as Felix Faust (DC Comics people know what’s up) and thousands fall into a coma in Brooklyn. A hipster coma.
Grimm (NBC, Friday 9:00 p.m.) — Nick searches for Monroe as the Wesenrein get ready to be savagely inhospitable.
12 Monkeys (SYFY, Friday 9:00 p.m.) — Cole goes to the mental hospital. There is no Brad Pitt there.
King of the Nerds (TBS, Friday 9:00 p.m.) — Love this show or hate it, at least its putting money in Booger’s pocket. And anything that puts money in Booger’s pocket is okay by me.
Kyle Kinane: I Liked His Old Stuff Better (Comedy Central, Friday 11:59 p.m.) — Kinane seems as though he is aiming to lower expectations with his latest one-hour special but he will surely fail at this endeavor.
Black Sails (Starz, Saturday 9:00 p.m.) — Head for the high seas for the Season 2 premiere of this show that I’ve never seen about pirate stuff and something to do with parrots.
Galavant (ABC, Sunday 8:00-10:00 p.m.) — Gareth and King Richard duel in the two-part season finale.
The Pro Bowl (ESPN, Sunday 8:00 p.m.) — The AFC superstars who weren’t excused by a doctor’s note take on the NFC superstars who weren’t excused by a doctor’s note in a game that will certainly have properly inflated balls and zero importance.
FOX’s Sunday Night Comedy Lineup (FOX, Sunday 8:00-10:00 p.m.) — Elon Musk stops by The Simpsons, Jake meets Eva Longoria’s boss on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Meg becomes a fetish model on Family Guy as Stewie and Brian hit the road, and Bob hires Louise’s enemy on Bob’s Burgers. Also, Mulaney is on at 7, but I think it’s become clear that you’re all pretty much okay with me leaving that one off the list. Poor Mulaney.
Girls (HBO, Sunday 9:00 p.m.) — Hannah criticizes her classmates and Elijah is Mr. Popular. No Allison Williams jokes this week. I am evolving.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Ryan Seacrest and Taraji P. Henson on Fallon; and Jeff Goldblum, Gary Shandling, and Ryan Adams on Judd Apatow’s The Late Late Show.