NFL Preseason Football (ESPN, 8 p.m.) — If you’re as starved for football as I am, you’ll watch 10 minutes of this preseason game between the Jaguars and Bears, wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life, then watch the rest of the damn thing.
Rectify (Sundance, 9 p.m.) — “Amantha lets off some steam.” What if it turns out she killed Hannah? That would be a…terrible way to end this show. Never mind.
Dating Naked (VH1, 9 p.m.) — “A New York accountant and a spunky tomboy seek love on a tropical island.” Please don’t use the word “spunky” when describing Dating Naked, VH1.
Garfunkel and Oates (IFC, 10 p.m.) — The pilot was just as charming as you’d expect.
Married (FX, 10 p.m.) — Jenny Slate and Brett Gelman get their own subplot when Jess helps A.J. get rid of an unwanted house guest. I hope it’s not a copy of House Guest on VHS.
You’re the Worst (FX, 10:30 p.m.) — Jimmy goes on a “Sunday Funday” with Gretchen. There’s an episode of Doug where Quailman uses the Rulemeister’s “weekend blaster” to add a day between Sunday and Monday called Funday. I assume You’re the Worst is ripping that off.
Black Jesus (Adult Swim, 11 p.m.) — You might have seen something about this show.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Sylvester Stallone on Fallon; Taylor Swift and Boy George on Meyers; and Aubrey Plaza on Conan.
