A Brief History Of Andy Dick’s Stealing, Groping, Genital-Exposing Insanity

Stealing a necklace is actually one of the tamer, more deviant acts Andy Dick has participated in. For some reason (let’s call it drugs) Andy has no qualms with exposing himself, defiling underage girls, ingesting copious amounts of chemical substances, and exposing himself some more. We could do a whole story of just Andy Dick urinating in public, but at this point, the cops have more to worry about with Dick than him relieving himself in public. So, since he’s been in the news again for being a naughty boy, here’s a brief history of Andy Dick’s legal woes.

May 1999

Things started to spiral out of control with Andy Dick in 1999, when he smashed his car into a pole in Hollywood, then quickly fled on foot to evade authorities. Of course, he was caught and placed under arrest. Police found weed and cocaine in his vehicle. Instead of going to jail, Dick pleaded guilty and was ordered to complete an 18-month drug program, which he did.

Since the incident happened and I’ve been able to conquer my problems, I’ve never been happier emotionally, in my family and in my career. I have a lot of support from a lot of people and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.

December 2004

Things seemed okay for a little while with Andy, and perhaps it seemed as though he learned his lesson. But, in 2004, he ended up arrested again after he decided to literally show his ass at a McDonald’s. Not sure if that had anything to do with this:

July 2008

One of the more disgusting things Andy Dick has done occurred in 2008. At a Murrieta, California Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot, Andy fondled the breasts and removed the top off a 17-year old girl. Police found marijuana and Xanex on Andy, and he was later released on bail. The incident also spawned this disturbing and evil mugshot:

January 2010

In West Virginia, Andy Dick was arrested after he groped two bar patrons. Here’s what the Huntington Police Department had to say:

Based upon statements of two victims and independent witness accounts alleging that he had engaged in unwanted and uninvited groping of the two victims’ genital areas, Andrew R. Dick (AKA Andy Dick) of South Pasadena, Calif., was arrested and charged with two counts of Sex Abuse in the First Degree.

December 2010

Andy Dick is apparently obsessed with…well, you know, because in December of the same year, he decided it would be a good idea to pull down the skirt he was wearing at a show and rub his genitals on an audience member’s face. To make matters worse, the man alleged that he was emotionally abused at work because of the incident. Andy got away with it, though, after the guy dismissed his claims.

May 2011

A Marie Callender restaurant seems like a perfect place to get completely wasted to the point you can’t function — before 10 p.m. Police were called to the eatery when — as Dick does — “he was unable to care for his own safety.” Police arrested Dick with suspicion of public intoxication.

November 2014

Apparently, hanging out in the back of police cruisers is a pastime for Dick, who got arrested again this month after stealing a man’s necklace after asking to “see it.” Dick was later found by police hanging outside of his Hollywood apartment, and subsequently posted bail.

Who knows where we’ll see Dick next? Perhaps a gameshow where contestants try to preDICK where he’ll be arrested next? It’ll be like Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego, but with more genitals.