January and February are a terrible time to be a person who likes movies. Hollywood has just blown it’s load on the fall “awards season” and it’s too cold and dreary for most people to want to see a movie anyways, so January and February have become a dumping ground for Hollywood’s cinematic garbage. “Feel good” movies that will make you feel anything but, Oscar-bait that badly missed the mark, terrible action flicks that would’ve gone direct-to-video if they hadn’t duped a mid-level star into appearing in them, awful horror movies, traumatizing adventures for the kids — this is the stuff January and February are made of.
That said, even in these darkest of months there are usually a few overlooked gems. Here are six promising nerd-friendly sci-fi/fantasy/supernatural movies to tide you over until things start to turn around in March. These might not all end up being masterpieces, but at least they’ll keep you from having to resort to that movie with Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah…
The Divide
Nuclear war has broken out and a group of people lock themselves in a bunker to survive an attack. They soon lose their minds and start killing each other in creative ways. Supposedly there’s also lots of creepy sex stuff not really alluded to in the trailer. Looks intense, but probably still easier to stomach than Meryl Streep giving a towering Meryl Streep performance as Margaret Thatcher.
Mainstream critics haven’t liked it much, but then mainstream critics find most horror movies horribly gauche. Online reviews have been more positive.
The Wicker Tree
Yes, this is a sequel to the original British version of The Wicker Man. Same writer/director and everything. If you’re a true cult movie lover then that’s all you need to know. Is there a good chance it might be awful? Yup. The original was pretty bad by most conventional measures too, but it was bad in an interesting way. This should be worth seeing just for the spectacle.
Also, if The Wicker Tree makes some money that increases the chances of an eventual Nic Cage remake, which really, really needs to happen.
The Innkeepers
The trailer makes The Innkeepers look like a pretty standard haunted house movie, but there’s reason to believe it will be more than that — or at the very least, a very well executed standard haunted house movie.
The movie’s written and directed by Ti West, the guy behind 2009’s excellent faux-80s horror movie, The House of the Devil. Definitely looks like a lot of Kubrick influence in this one, and playing off all the current ghost-hunting TV shows for it’s set-up is smart. Also, THE PIANO’S PLAYING ITSELF!!! WOOoooOOOooo!
Chronicle
So, with Chronicle the whole “found footage” concept meets the superhero movie — how did it take so long for this to happen? Looks like a fun exploration of what would happen if some teenage douchebags actually got super powers. Forget joining the X-men or “with great power, comes great responsibility”, they’d use them to f–k with folks, get girls to take off their tops and casually kill people they didn’t like. The final moments of the trailer look like the closest thing we’ll ever get to a live action Akira movie that’s actually good.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Apparently the first Ghost Rider wasn’t Nic Cage-ey enough (and trust me, it was plenty Nic Cage-ey) so they’re turning it up to 11 and making the best terrible Nic Cage action movie they can for the sequel. I’m on board — I just hope Cage still walks around with a plastic champagne class full of M&Ms whenever he’s not Ghost Rider like he did in the first movie.
The Secret World of Arrietty
It’s a new Studio Ghibli film. Just go watch it. Try to catch a matinee preferably — that way you’ll feel happy for the rest of the day.