American Idol 2.0 premiered on ABC this week after nearly two harrowing years of not existing, after its big series finale on Fox in 2016. Of course, the auditions have always been the most entertaining part of the American Idol experience — lest we all forget how William Hung became a household name in the aughts — and so far, this new incarnation seems to be no different.
After Katy Perry robbed one 19-year-old contestant of his kiss virginity in last week’s premiere, on Monday night’s new episode another contestant, for reasons known only to her, decided to bring her dog along to accompany her audition. Predictably, it did not go great!
The poor teenage girl had barely gotten into her first note, accompanied by her father on acoustic guitar, when the ridiculous pink-sweater wearing poodle dropped trough and pooped right on the stage. “Uh oh,” interrupted Katy Perry. “The dog is taking a poop!”
To their credit, the judges decided to give her another chance, but this time she didn’t even have a chance to start singing before the dog proceeded to pee all over the place, to Lionel Richie’s palatable disgust. Incredibly, Perry offered her a third chance since surely, there couldn’t possibly be anymore pee or poop inside the dog — which is where you would be wrong!
“You can’t script this,” quipped Luke Bryan. “She’s just doing a drive-by.” At that point it was pretty clear the audition was over, as thankless Idol crew members were brought out to clean up the mess.
Where is Dunkleman when you need him?