Ben Shapiro used to be more or less exclusively known by the far-right commentariat, but in the last couple years, he crossed over into the mainstream — not as someone who can reach across the aisle with unifying thinking but as a reliable punching bag, someone whose relentless outside-the-box hot takes are always ripe for mockery. The Daily Wire honcho and former Breitbart scribe began the new week swinging. On Monday he was belittled for two things: for saying rap isn’t music, and for demanding more detailed descriptions of Brett Kavanaugh’s wang.
Watch Ben Shapiro die on the “nobody has yet to described Kavanaugh’s penis” Hill. https://t.co/dPZkRoo10o
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) September 16, 2019
Shapiro dropped the latter nugget on his video podcast, which allows people to not only hear the nasal motormouthed noise he makes when he expresses his curious worldviews but also see that, at 35, he still looks like a preppy dork who just had his head dunked in a high school toilet.
He was discussing the latest accusation made against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, who last year rose to a lifetime position of unimaginable power despite credible accusations of sexual assault. The latest claim, filed in The New York Times, accuses him of drunkenly forcing his penis into the hands of a female student while at Yale. Shapiro wasn’t having it.
“We’ve had a bevy of public figures in recent years who have had their genitalia described on national television by people who alleged sexual assault,” Shapiro said. “Stormy Daniels famously described President Trump’s genitalia, Bill Clinton’s genitalia, details of such were talked about. Nobody has yet described Kavanaugh’s genitalia.”
Far as debunking goes, this is pretty thin gruel, as though victims of trauma always got a good look at their perpetrator’s organ. And the combination of Shapiro and an amusingly lousy argument — and on the same day he dissed an entire genre of music yet — was a perfect storm of Twitter yuks.
Women, if you're being sexually assaulted make sure you take close notice of your attacker's dick because Ben Shapiro wants to know exactly what it looks like https://t.co/08JKgMBQS4
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) September 16, 2019
Someone who is good at math please figure out why Ben Shapiro gives Brett Kavanaugh all the benefits of the doubt and Trayvon Martin and rap none.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 16, 2019
Ben Shapiro really wants to know what Brett Kavanaugh's genitalia look like, just to be sure that all of the credible allegations of sexual assault against him are real.
I think we should send him to take photos.
Just for the evidence.
He can keep them. pic.twitter.com/EpcyakpVAu
— Grant Stern (@grantstern) September 16, 2019
OMFG Ben Shapiro are you okay? 🤣🤣🤣
Unless Mr. Boofing has an incredibly noteworthy penis, I'm not sure anyone would remember specifics about it. What a weirdo.
— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) September 16, 2019
How many unsolicited pictures has Ben Shapiro gotten today? Not enough.
— Schooley (@Rschooley) September 16, 2019
…so…in order for an allegation to be credible to Ben Shapiro, a woman would need to have stared at Kavanaugh’s penis, committed it to memory, fought through repressed memories the indigent caused, and then describe it in detail?
Ben has no idea how idiotic he sounds right now. https://t.co/0Kq3uXgsXL
— Ahmed Baba (@AhmedBaba_) September 16, 2019
Twitter is ALL about having unwanted dicks thrown in your face. One of them is called Ben Shapiro. https://t.co/kME670ZvYH
— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) September 16, 2019
ngl i wanna hear more about the dicks of powerful men as well so i agree w/ ben shapiro on this one. https://t.co/7FtoKpcnsA
— hasanabi (@hasanthehun) September 16, 2019
not going to comment on the “ben shapiro demands dick descriptions” thing bc I’m too mature
— unlicensed professional (@KrangTNelson) September 17, 2019
Some are a little tired of the ubiquitous Shapiro dunking, however well-earned it is.
Me 2 min ago: "Why is Ben Shapiro always fucking trending, can't we leave this dim-witted attentionmonger alone for one goddamn day?"
Ben Shapiro: "SOMEBODY DESCRIBE THE DICK TO ME."
Me now: "Oh."
— Riflemen Had Gaffe (@geekchicohio) September 16, 2019
my kingdom for an Inifinity Gauntlet that makes Ben Shapiro news disappear with the snap of the fingers.
— hend amry (@LibyaLiberty) September 16, 2019
Some were lucky to have no idea who Ben Shapiro was until today.
in all honesty i wasn’t sure who ben shapiro was so i googled him and i didn’t fucking wanna see this pic.twitter.com/UWLUtw5JCE
— kay roman (@kayxroman) September 17, 2019
Some didn’t see it as particularly funny, because it kind of isn’t.
3 million women nationwide report that their first "sexual experience" was rape. Three. Million. Women.
Meanwhile, Ben Shapiro believes they're all liars unless they can give a detailed description of their rapist's penis to, apparently, Ben Shapiro. https://t.co/rOp4n8NcwR
— Danielle Campoamor (@DCampoamor) September 16, 2019
Later in the day, as per CNN, it was revealed that the allegation, made by a former classmate who witnessed the incident, had hit a potential snag: Unmentioned in the piece is that the alleged victim declined to comment. That doesn’t necessarily invalidate the accusation. And that doesn’t make Shapiro’s demand to know all about the penis of the man who coined the term “I like beer” any less ridiculous. Indeed, some postulated that perhaps Shapiro is just…dumb.
Ben Shapiro has the dumbest takes because he's really really dumb. That's literally it. He's a really stupid person with no basic understanding of how the world works or how regular people live.
— Joshua 4 Congress (@Joshua4Congress) September 16, 2019