There are certain things your best friend should do when you’re about to go one a first date. Help you pick an outfit? Yes! Give you a pep talk about what a catch you are and how anyone would be lucky to be with you? Absolutely. Give you ideas for what to talk about and then also provide a way for you to get out of the date quickly if you need to? Sure. If you’ve got a friend with wheels who can be at the restaurant you’re languishing in 10 minutes or less, you’re golden.
But there are also certain things your best friend probably shouldn’t do. One of them is put on a disguise and follow you and your date to the location of your romantic rendezvous to make sure things are going okay. That’s just so much work! And it also puts way more pressure on both you and your date, especially when you have to explain why the hooded dude with a creepy mustache is staring at you. That’s why this kind of stuff only happens on sitcoms and never in real life. Well, except it happened in real life yesterday.
Here’s the story: A Twitter user named Dawsyn Eubanks (now an internet sensation) went on a date on Thursday. It could have been like any other date, except at one point she got a text from her best friend Georgia. Georgia’s question: “Why aren’t you eating your food?”
Now, this would be enough to freak out anyone, so when Dawsyn responded with a well-deserved “WTF” (which is tame; I would have overturned a table and started screaming something about being watched because I am a mature adult with a good handle on his emotions), Georgia told her to look behind her.
https://twitter.com/presleighdawsyn/status/832336912107044865
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Uh, okay. Did anyone else get creeped the hell out before they recognized that this was a college-aged woman in sunglasses and fake facial hair? When I saw this last night — admittedly, it was very late and I had already taken a NyQuil — I almost jumped out of bed because I hadn’t connected that these two were friends and was all “oh my god, a literal serial killer is following this woman on a date.” Fortunately, it was a little less dramatic than that, but can you imagine how awkward the date must have turned right then? How do you even begin to tell someone why the creepy guy who looks like he just stepped out of a bad episode of American Horror Story is actually your female friends who just “loves me so much, you know?”
Fortunately, Dawsyn says the rest of the date went okay.
https://twitter.com/presleighdawsyn/status/832431014484045824
And Georgia is very proud of herself.
I love me
— Georgia Hoyer (@georgia_bryn) February 16, 2017
Expect to see these ladies on Ellen in the next week, where they’ll giggle through their 15 minutes while we all seethe jealously from the sidelines as they get college scholarships and gift cards to The Olive Garden and an amazing story to tell everyone they ever meet. Also: Why aren’t more of our best friends this funny and cool and also disrespectful of boundaries? Step your game up!