During a speech at an anti-sexual assault rally on Wednesday, former Vice President Joe Biden once again took a shot at President Trump, telling the crowd that he would have taken Trump “behind the gym” and beaten the hell out of him, had they attended high school together. Referring to Trump’s “grab her by the” Access Hollywood tape, Biden quipped, “Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest SOB in the room.”
Of course, this is just Uncle Joe being Uncle Joe, and it’s not even the first time he’s made remarks to that effect (because who among us wouldn’t like to take a delicate, bone spur-afflicted teenage Donald behind the gym), but predictably, Trump took the bait.
On Thursday morning, the president tweeted that “Crazy Joe Biden” is trying to act like a tough guy. “Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault,” he added, before hilariously insinuating that Biden would “go down fast and hard, crying all the way” should the two actually engage in fisticuffs.
Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don’t threaten people Joe!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 22, 2018
Now, while we all can’t claim to be the “stable genius” that Trump is, the very notion that he thinks he could take Biden in a fight is just absurd. Despite Trump being four years younger and three inches taller than Biden, the fact of the matter remains that he famously doesn’t believe in exercise, has consumed a steady diet of fast food for the majority of his life, and generally resembles a trash bag filled with applesauce.
As such, Twitter was quick to point out the ridiculousness of Trump’s claims, as well as the idea of two 70-somethings brawling in the first place.
Joe Biden rn. pic.twitter.com/JKrAsB3NTY
— Michael Skolnik (@MichaelSkolnik) March 22, 2018
Trump challenging Joe Biden to a fight reminds me of the Simpsons where Homer goes around randomly slapping people with a dueling glove until someone finally accepts and then he runs away.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 22, 2018
2020 preview …. https://t.co/xcUkx6M8SN
— Jake Sherman (@JakeSherman) March 22, 2018
Joe Biden is that grandpa who is constantly telling you to punch him in the stomach at Thanksgiving.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) March 22, 2018
Obviously they should fight for real but, in addition, I propose they wear bikinis for it. https://t.co/FnRpeC9evK
— Drew Magary (@drewmagary) March 22, 2018
Joe threatens you? You threaten the women you sleep with.
— Jeff (Gutenberg Parenthesis) Jarvis (@jeffjarvis) March 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/AprilMichelle0_/status/976807358637670400
Trump picked the wrong target. Joe Biden served the United States with tremendous honor over more than 50 years in public service. He weathered the loss of a wife; his veteran son to brain cancer; and his one-year old child—and still kept fighting. He is tough as nails. https://t.co/2tT6e6BZl0
— Brian Klaas (@brianklaas) March 22, 2018
Joe Biden: “IS THIS YOUR PRESIDENT?” pic.twitter.com/33tdS5OuX2
— X (@XLNB) March 22, 2018
Angela Lansbury could kick your ass Donald. In a fight, Joe Biden would kill you. pic.twitter.com/NQW6fiTTpW
— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) March 22, 2018
Joe Biden’s reaction to being punched in the face. pic.twitter.com/AyAWHYg30d
— Ben Feibleman (@BenFeibleman) March 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/JayCaruso/status/976772276145283073
https://twitter.com/CillizzaCNN/status/976772152639868928
Trump would do well to smear some Vaseline on his face beforehand, homeboy is gonna need all the help he can get.